UCS Reporters
The Dood Abides
Dominus Noster
Ed E. Druckman
Kamal El-Din
Gunther Schnitzel
Chuck Terzella
Walid
Nickfun

 

 

 
Al Franken Gains Senate Seat; Loses Sense of Humor
 
by NickFun
 
Franken spent over an hour drawing this map of the United States from memory during a press conference leaving people to worry about his mental stability.
Minnesota Democrat Al Franken admitted that since taking office as senator he has effectively lost his sense of humor.

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Whatever Happened to the Firm Handshake?
 
by NickFun
 

Maybe I'm getting old or maybe I'm just old fashioned but when I shake someone's hand I would appreciate it if they took my hand and shook back!

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Homeland Security Vows Crackdown on Satire
 
by NickFun
 
Chertoff says he finds satire to be "nasty".
The U.S. Department of Homeland Security announced today that it will no longer tolerate satire writers, satire sites or anything "making fun" of the United States

Michael Chertoff, Director of Homeland Security, stated, "It has become very difficult in these troubled times to distinguish between satire and actual news stories. My office has been inundated with people complaining and panicking about stories that have no basis in truth."

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President Bush Decries Bias in Satirical Press
 
by Phil Maggitti
 
WASHINGTON - President George W. Bush says the "left-wing bias" in the way his administration is covered by the satirical press is undermining the American way of life. Although Bush admits he is not computer-literate, "There are people working for me who are, and from what they tell me I can't get a break from satire writers on the Internet. They're out to make fun of everything I do and to mock the Christian values this country is built on. I haven't heard of one positive thing that's ever been written about me in the satirical press."

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Ashcroft tells Senator Kennedy to "F__K OFF!"

Whatever Happened to the Firm Handshake?

Ashcroft Launches Attacks on Satirical Web Sites!

Ashcroft Nukes Onion Compound! WAR ON SATIRE Continues.

Siege of Onion Compound Ends! Military Withdraws and Declares Victory.

 

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

 

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