UCS Reporters
The Dood Abides
Dominus Noster
Ed E. Druckman
Kamal El-Din
Gunther Schnitzel
Chuck Terzella
Walid
Nickfun

 

 

 
Governor Paterson Still Plans to Run Despite Everyone Hating Him
 
by NickFun
 
Gov Paterson always looks like he hasn't shaven for 3-5 days.
Perpetually unshaven New York Governor David Paterson fiercely proclaimed today that he was still going to run for a full four year term as governor in 2010 despite the objections of President Obama, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, all democratic members of congress, his wife, his children and 98% of the voters in New York.

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Sarah Palin Drops Expensive cloths : DURING RALLY!
 
by Walid
 
Palin puts and end to RNC clothing controversy(FREDERICKSBURG, VA) Ucs news–- Sarah Palin addressed a hardy crowd of supporters here who stayed in the freezing rain to hear the GOP Vice-Presidential nominee speak. What began as her standard stump speech took a shocking turn when Palin striped off the controversial cloths and delivered a rousing call to action.

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Sarah Palin Gives Up Everything to Become Stay-At-Home Mom
 
by NickFun
 
Sarah Palin waves goodbye to her supporters as she heads off to do the dishes.
Alaska Governor and Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced at a press conference today that she would be abandoning her bid for the Vice Presidency and resigning from her position as governor to become a stay at home mom.

Palin, an Evangelical Christian, told the media that after reading the Bible she realized that politics was no place for women. She believes that Jesus chose 12 men as his most fervent disciples because men are inherently endowed with leadership qualities that women such as herself lack. She also suddenly realized she had five children that she had been mentally abusing and neglecting by dragging them around the country and denying them social interaction with their friends.

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Sarah Palin Admits Romantic Feelings for Angela Merkel
 
by NickFun
 
Angela Merkel displays the cleavage that Palin finds so attractive.
Alaska Governor and Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin admitted today that she has strong sexual and romantic inclinations towards 52-year-old German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

"I admit, she makes me hot", Palin revealed in a candid interview. "She's the most powerful woman in the world. She has achieved greatness in Germany beyond what any man there has ever achieved. And she has HUGE knockers!"

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Hamid Karzai Elected President of the United States: Bush, Kerry Shocked

I feel good that Senator Harry Reid won

Thousands Rushed to Hospital During Bush's Nomination Acceptance Speech!

Obama- Just too young to be President... Critics Make Obama's Age An Issue In Presidential Race

Godless Democrats Pray for New Orleans' Final Judgment Evil Democrats Pray that Gustav will flood New Orleans

 

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

 

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