George W. Bush admits: "We need more troops to defeat 'The Illusion of Failure' in Iraq....29 million should do it."
by Walid
Bush failureUnconfirmed sources report the Bush administration plans to increase the number of troops serving in Iraq. With the increase of insurgent attacks, lack of stability and increasing despair of Iraqis, the Bush administration can no longer claim victory as often as it would like. The President admits the administrations battle plan for Iraq was flawed but it's only "the illusion of failure" that must be defeated. Pentagon officials are now requesting more troops to defeat 'The Illusion of Failure', 29 million more to be exact.

The Pentagon considers the increased troop level imperative to RE-secure victory in Iraq. Donald Rumsfeld and President Bush will ask congress to authorize the deployment of 29 million more troops to Iraq. Shocked senators from the Democratic and Republican parties voiced concern about the quantity and asked to have the amount of troops reviewed. Donald Rumsfeld confirmed the troop request "We need 29 million more fighting men on the lines in Iraq. This will give us one fighting man for each Iraqi in the theater of operations. The American people think we are losing the war in Iraq, we need to reverse this false impression. I think 29 million more troops will allow us to defeat our real enemy, 'The Illusion of Failure'."

When pressed about the new troop commitment during a White House briefing, The President blamed the liberal media for fanning the flames of anti-american sentiment. "Yes I'm concerned about the situation in Iraq, We would not have needed so many more troops if Newsweek magazine had not destabilized the situation on the ground."

The President went on to complain "It's a shame that we need so many proud Americans fighting to defeat 'The Illusion of Failure' created by small group of unpatriotic Americans that insist on telling the truth.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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