George W. Bush Appoints John Bolton to Replace O'Connor On Supreme Court
by Kamal El-Din
John BoltonUnconfirmed sources reports that the President has made a recess appointment and placed John Bolton on the Supreme Court. In what is being called a political master stroke Bush has eliminated two of the biggest problems facing him. In one fell swoop he has solved the 'Bolton problem' and avoided a bitter fight over a Supreme Court nomination. Washington is in shock and the Democrats are in disarray having been outflanked by this canny President.

"Wow!" says Republican heavy weight Andrew Sullivan. "The President has done it again. This is such a brilliant and gutsy move. Mr. Bush is truly a master when it comes to outmaneuvering his political enemies. I mean the recess appoint of Bolton to the UN would have been daring, but his recess appointment of Bolton to the Supreme Court, bypassing the Senate, is truly amazing. The Democrats are going to be hopping mad, but it's their own fault for being in the minority."

The recess appointment, which is a way to appoint a nominee to a position while the Senate is out of session, has never been used to fill a vacancy to The Supreme Court. The recess appointment law was passed to fill vacancies before the Senate became a full time body.

"Bolton is jus the type of person we need in the Supreme Court." says Senator Orin Hatch, chairmen of the Senate Judiciary Committee. "The Supreme Court has run-a-muck and needs to be reformed. Sure John has sharp elbows, but this is what the Supreme Court needs. The court has been packed full of namby-pamby liberal pantywaists and needs some toughness to get us through these difficult times."

While Bolton lacks any judicial experience he is a loyal supporter of the President, which makes him well qualified for a seat on the Court.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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