You Don't Piss Off The Boss:
President George W. Bush was visibly angered this week when the man who's country holds the mortgage on the United States, Chinese President Hu Jintao, was heckled by a supporter of the outlawed religious sect Falun Gong during a White House ceremony. Far from being content with having United States based Epoch Times reporter Wenyi Wang evicted from the proceedings, Mr. Bush has directed officials to charge Ms. Wang with "harassing, intimidating and threatening a foreign official", a charge that carries a prison term of six months in a federal prison. Unnamed White house Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, " Freedom of speech be damned, if that crazy little Asian guy (Mr. Hu) decides to call in our loans the United States is screwed. Look, China owns us now, so you Yellow Running Dog Americans had better straighten up and fly right."
In a related story, President Bush has called on the Republican controlled Senate and House of Representatives to pass a resolution calling on all Americans to shop at his Chinese master's company store, or WalMart as it's called here in the United States.
Democrats Support The Republican Party:
President Bush's Deputy Chief of Staff, Karl Rove, has announced that he'll leave that post to concentrate on helping the People's Republican Party keep control of the House and Senate, meaning that Democrat's tax dollars will help pay for any Republican victories in the mid-term elections. That is, of course, if Mr. Rove isn't indicted before then. Hope springs eternal…
Beam Me Up Scotty:
The face of the White House Department Of Public Disinformation, Scott Mc Clellan, announced that he would retire as soon as, in his words, "someone else can be found who can say this shit with a straight face." Mr. McClellan was reportedly despondent about being narrowly edged out of this years Pulitzer Prize for fiction by "Gilead" author Marilynne Robinson. Beijing is expected to announce the name of Mr. McClellan's replacement soon.
White House Decries "Spies Like Us":
The CIA fired a top intelligence analyst who it accused of leaking classified information this week. Mary O. McCarthy was accused by the agency of revealing to news organizations the existence of a secret network of CIA prisons, as well as allegations that the CIA was involved in torture at Iraqi prisons. The White House hailed the move saying in a leaked statement, " You flucking gluys don't leak, we flucking leak. Plesident Bush can leak, Condoleezza Lice can leak, even Sclooter Libby can leak, blut not the CIA. After all, is nothing sacled?"
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