United States Senator Joseph Lieberman, who lost his bid to be the Democratic candidate for Connecticut as a result of the fact that he's actually a Republican mole, said today that the terror plot uncovered by Great Britain proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ned Lamont, if elected in November, will destroy the world. In a stunning revelation, Mr. Lieberman alleged that Mr. Lamont had planned to fly himself from Great Britain to the United States and blow himself up midway. The stunning part, according to Mr. Lieberman, was that Mr. Lamont was not planning to actually be on a plane for his flight.
"This is what I was talking about when, when, I, uh…was talking about it," a visibly triumphant Lieberman proclaimed, "I mean after all, you damn Democrats…uh, WE damn Democrats need to realize that George W. Bush (God, I just love that man) is the only one who can stop these terrorists in their racks. No! Wait! George Bush and me! That's right! Me and George (God, I just love that man) are the only ones who can stop those dirty dog terrorists in their half tracks…um, tacks. Tracks! That's what I mean. And when I say that Judy Garland really knew how to…" At this point Senator Lieberman was led off by his handlers for his noon time meds.
While the Connecticut Senator was waxing poetic, United States President George W. Bush was explaining that this latest threat to America's freedoms were the work of "Muslim Fascists" Non-Muslim Fascists have threatened to boycott the November mid term elections in retaliation; Republicans from several Southern states have been frantically calling the White House to get Mr. Bush to retract the statement.
It is unknown at this point how many true and loyal Americans will rally around President Bush in his hour of Great Britain's need; estimates are at least a half dozen listened to his comments and at least one of those was his mother, Babs. Unfortunately, she tuned away minutes into her son's statement she catch a re-run of The Dog Whisperer.