Florida Representative Foley Arrested on Return to Palm Beach
by Dood Abides
Representative Mark Foley's arrest photo supplied by anonymous Palm Beach, FL authorities




































Palm Beach, FL (Rotters) - Florida Congressional Representative Mark Foley was arrested by federal authorities upon his return to his home district in Palm Beach Florida, late last night. He has been charged as a sexual predator for inappropriate e-mail messages sent to a 16-year-old male congressional page. Foley has reportedly been cooperating with authorities but has angrily denied the charges stating, "I did not have virtual sex with that young man."

The initial story of the sexualized e-mails was broken by ABC news late last night in conjunction with the weekend end of cycle bad news dump, but the story shows no evidence of disappearing over the weekend.

Further charges of complicity appeared to be surfacing, in regards to Republicans House Speaker Dennis Hastert, and Majority Leader John Boehner who appeared to have had knowledge of Foley's activities and circumvented congressional disciplinary committees in place to deal with such matters. Both today adamantly denied any interventions upon Foley's behalf and lauded the representative from Florida for his action in resigning his position yesterday. "The fact that my formerly esteemed colleague has been called to the carpet is further evidence of the effectiveness and necessity of the warrantless wiretapping bill for the security of America that we will be handing to the president, next week," stated Hastert.

Hastert and Boehner present Foley with a congressional award sponsored by "My Space.Com" for his work on a congressional page mentorship program earlier this year.

Hastert and Boehner praised Foley for his years of service, and his work at promoting legislation against child predators, but stopped short of defending his behavior with the 16-year-old page. Both professed ignorance to Foley's activities, earlier in the year as they had presented them with an award for his efforts in a mentorship program for congressional pages.

In a related story, conservative bloggers have uncovered and published the name and address of the congressional page in question in an effort to force him to come forwards and confess his degree of complicity in what they describe as the online seduction of representative Foley.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



Josey wrote:
Posted a link to your story in a dittohead chatroom and some of the most right wing responded with quotes like:

"Josey ...arrested huh?....."

and

"wooo Josey ....kind of felt that was likely!!

Good fair and accurate reporting!!! Keep it up.
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bob wrote:
It oughta happen, but this looks like a hoax to me. The con photo looks doctored, and the reference to the wiretap bill went a little too far. Entertaining nonetheless.
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MITCH wrote:
FOLEY MITE NOT BE REQUIRD TO REGISTER AS A SEX OFFENDER FOR THIS= BUT BEING THE DEVOUT UPSTANDING REPUGLYCAN HE IS= HE'LL PROBLEY DO IT VOLUNTEER.
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A. Kalmanowich wrote:
Question about Foley's Photo:
How come they didn't include his prison numbers on his uniform?
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Max wrote:
Is that the coveted Chickenhawk Award?
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A man with a vote wrote:
You folks must think we are some ignorant a--------, the mug shot of Foley is a fake. Try again, perhaps he can take a better pose. I have seen a taken mug shots and this is a clear fabrication.
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TurdFerguson wrote:
Max is a self-loathing homo
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