Washington, DC (Rotters) - The morning after scathing criticisms from the British, in regards to the prison at Guantánamo Bay and threats to withdraw all troops from Iraq, an angry President Bush stated that there would be "severe repercussions" should the British follow through with their threats.
"It has always been the policy of this administration to resolve differences through diplomatic channels," stated Bush in a hastily arranged morning press conference, "but all options will remain on the table. I don't know about in Britain, but here, we can shoot deserters. The world needs to know that they have nuclear weapons and must not be allowed to terrorize those that they disagree with." Bush was responding to a question from a reporter asking if nuclear strikes had been considered.
The British announcement of its desire to withdraw from Iraq comes on the heels of the U.S. Army's latest plans for maintaining its current troop strength through 2010. An armed services spokesperson stated that while it had met recruitment goals for 2006 it would be hard pressed to make up for the loss of British boots on the ground.
In a report issued earlier this week, the Army boasted of meeting its recruitment goals despite the growing American distaste for the occupation of Iraq. It reluctantly admitted that it had done so by lowering established academic, mental health, and legal standards.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld defended the change in standards for the all volunteer armed services. "The majority of the problems that we are still seeing in Iraq and Afghanistan are a result of zealous dead enders with a lot of time on their hands," stated Rumsfeld. "We've succeeded in arming them and getting them into uniforms, but they just haven't played by the rules. Sometimes the best policy is to lead by example. If we can succeed in recruiting dead enders here, then we can have them fight theirs over there... sort of like killing two birds with one IED, if you will."
Britain's top military commander, General Richard Dannatt, in an interview with the British newspaper the Daily Mail refused to say if the US Defense Department's new policies had weighed into his insistence for the withdrawal of British troops. "We have got to stand together with our American allies. But I want to go on the record publicly as saying that we don't need to be standing head and shoulders above them," he said.
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