Unconfirmedsources.com


Bush Stumps For Party of Gay Bashing, Reckless Spending, Corrupt, Big Government Loving, Pickup Driving, Coors Drinking, Rush Limbaugh Listening, Pedophiles

by Kamal El-Din

The President hit the road today on a last minute swing through the country to whip up the Republican faithful. He has a big job to do as polling shows the President's party is in big trouble. The President's team has identified several dozen races where a visit from Mr. Bush could help. Air Force one is on standby awaiting the call from Republican lawmakers in need of the Presidents help. "The President is still a big draw." Says Republican operative Seth Greenberg. "Mr. Bush, even damaged as he is, can still help Republican lawmakers in certain races. The President knows he needs to use his time wisely in the final days of this campaign and he intends to make every moment count. He will be leaving for Texas later tonight and will spend the next several days helping fellow Texans." "It's not 'where to send the President?', its where not to let him go." Says Washington watcher Mark Brooks. "The President is like a walking disaster area for Republicans. Candidates want him to help fund raise but they would rather Mr. Bush just sent the money via Western Union. I mean this guy is radioactive. I've be watching political ads and as far as I can gather this election is between the Democratic Party and the Independent Maverick Party." The good news for the President is that his most recent press conference where he admitted that things are not going so well is Iraq seems to disprove that he is oblivious to the problems there. The bad news for the President is that at the same press conference he predicted the Republicans would hold both houses of Congress, proving that he is oblivious to the problems there.

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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Yep, Bush is radioactive. Not just for his running-for-their-political-lives fellow Republicans. This ignorant by choice, admittedly ignorant by choice as if it's funny, man is radioactive for the entire country forced to address him as Mr. President. Well, at least when face-to-face. A man with a less than 40% popularity quotient in a country he so ruthlessly runs is only comparable to a dictator in the making - even if only in his eyes and in the eyes of the public he and his cronies have frightened. Satire is funny. Mockery is not. For this one post, I mock. From this point on, I, MarchDancer shall return to my more usual output, displaying my amazing grasp of true satire.