MILITARY RAISES ENLISTMENT AGE TO 85
by Gunther Schnitzel
"Glad they accepted me"  Henry KlotzWashington, President Bush today, has approved a request by the Defense Department to raise the military recruitment age to 85.

One of the first of the older men to enlist was Henry Klotz of Philadelphia, PA, a WWII veteran.

Interviewed at the Philadelphia Army Recruiting Office, Klotz said he was enlisting.."to get away from those old women at the retirement home, and to help Bush get rid of them terrorists!"

Following the swearing-in ceremony. Capt. Sam Drew, the recruitment officer in charge expressed satisfaction with the age increase. " We've been having trouble attracting younger guys, and these old folks will bring experience and wisdom to our armed forces. We have arranged for Private Klotz's restricted driving license to be upgraded so he can operate military vehicles and we're modifying all military facilities with ramps, so those with wheelchairs will have access."

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.