WORLD'S TALLEST MAN HIRED TO RESCUE SNOWBOUND PEOPLE
by Gunther Schnitzel
  LEONID STADNIK NOREIA, NY>
Buried under tons and tons of unending 'lake effect' snow, the Emergency Management Department of this small town of five thousand, located on the shores of Lake Ontario, has hired the world's tallest man to assist in locating buried residents.

Henry Grover, director of the EMD spoke by cell phone from the top of the fifty-foot pine where he has taken refuge.
" More than half of our people here have disappeared under the tons of white stuff coming down which doesn't seem like it's ever going to stop. I can see nothing from here except the tip of the Sprint phone tower sticking out...... just 'white', as far as your eye can see!"
NOREIA, NY

Grover continued, " We've just hired the world's tallest man, Leonid Stadnick of the Ukraine to help find our lost people. At eight feet, four inches, he can keep his head above the snow and look around for those buried. He has had experience finding people in similiar situations in the Ukraine where they get heavy snow also."

Embarking on a special charter flight, Stadnik was asked what was in the eight-foot tall crate being loaded in the plane's cargo compartment. " That's Gertha, the world's tallest dog." he explained. She's six feet, three inches. When I locate someone, she digs them out."

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.