Washington, DC (Rotters) - The Washington Post this morning issued a rare apology and immediately removed from its online edition what some have described as a premature posting of its final installment on an exposť of the workings of the vice president Dick Cheney. Editors apologized stating that the rough draft should never have seen the light of day, as it had never been formally validated by the editorial staff and was filled with what some might say was "educated speculation".
The final piece attempted to tie together the three previous articles and explore the basis for the vice president's overwhelming desire for secrecy.
The authors revealed numerous sources within the office of the Vice President whose chief responsibility is ensuring that Mr. Cheney is indeed able to maintain secrets from himself.
One example is a staffer whose only job is to present the vice president with continual refuting of the secret that Mr. Cheney does indeed enjoy torture, and does not merely view it as an unpleasant but necessary means to an end in the global war on terror. Thanks to the tireless efforts of this particular staffer, Mr. Cheney and President Bush are honestly able to maintain in public the statement that "America does not torture" as Mr. Bush famously responded to a group of 50 high school presidential scholars yesterday who were concerned over the reputation of America under the Bush administration.
Vice presidential Chief of Staff David Addington was quoted extensively throughout the piece.
"It is a continually challenging effort to provide this service to the vice president, but it has its own rewards," stated Addington,"It can also be tricky at times, and if you're not able to keep certain truths about Mr. Cheney from himself, you could easily wind up in jail or some other nasty outcome."
"With the understanding of these continual efforts behind the man, it is much easier to appreciate the vice president's nuanced position that he is both beyond and a part of the executive and legislative branches, and therefore exempt from the oversight efforts of either branch," concluded Addington. "We look forward to meeting the challenge issued by Representative Emanuel this week, and if he proceeds with his plans to attempt to defund the office of the Vice President, he may find the power turned off to his own office as a part of the vice president's new energy conservation measures."
The Post denied that its decision to pull the final installment was in any way influenced by the White House, and stated that it would be cooperating with federal authorities in an investigation to determine who was responsible for the leak.