"I seem to have inherited a fairly demoralized group," stated Belichick after the president's introduction, "but this team of attorneys has some real talent and I think we can turn them into contenders in pretty short order."

The White House refused to disclose terms of Belichick's contract, but it is rumored to be in the millions and with a taxpayer-funded signing bonus as well.

"This man understands the need for security and vigilance." stated President Bush. "He's got some great ideas on both offense and defense in our ongoing struggle to push our necessary domestic wiretapping policy past the new FISA rules. What's more, Bill is a true Patriot."

The White House downplayed concerns over Belichick's lack of legal experience stating that this should be viewed as more of an asset.

"We've got a whole team of young, eager Regent Law School graduates ready to assist Mr. Belichick in any way," stated White House spokesperson Dana Perino."The goal will be to not have him bogged down in the mundane, day-to-day legalese and management concerns, but to focus on ways to increase homeland security through covert monitoring in all forms."

Senate Democrats immediately decried the president's appointment vowing to oppose and overthrow it during confirmation hearings. The White House has reportedly offered a counter proposal of three first round primary election picks for the 2008 season, if the Democrats will allow confirmation.