Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Halle Berry and Rosie O'Donnell reveal weight-lose secrets
by NickFun
Al three of these lovely ladies bounced back into terrific shape after gaining weight and having babies. Unconfirmed Sources has learned their magical weight loss secrets!

Jennifer Lopez said, "If I'm not fit and trim then I'm out a few million bucks a year. That's incentive. If I have to frickin starve myself I will. I take laxatives. End of story¯.Rosie (the fat one on the right) has no weight loss secrets

Halle Berry said money was a concern but that's not the only way she stays trim. "I have my own private plastic surgeon", she stated. "Whenever I gain a few pounds he just sucks it out of me with this vacuum device. This way I can eat all I want and never gain a pound".

Sarah Jessica Parker claims she works out like a maniac every day and vomits when she eats too much because, "people are going to see me naked and there's nothing worse than fat, sagging, ugly old tits"¯.

Rosie O'Donnell said, "what secret? I'm FAT! I don't have any incentive to lose weight because I get paid just as much for being fat"¯.

 
Rate This Item
 
I Liked It
 
Print
7406 Views
 
Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.
And now for something completely different...

DANGEROUS SPORT> MOUNTAIN CLIMBING

George W. Bush Victory Sparks Crisis at Mexican and Canadian Borders!

Finally....the King of Pop is dead. Michael Jackson's Critics Celebrate Death of Pop Icon

Video footage from Pentagon web cam released to Unconfirmed Sources showing Donald Rumsfeld streaking across Pentagon lawn Pentagon releases video footage proving Donald Rumsfeld is a streaker

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.