Bush: "Taxpayers Will Happily Agree to Bailout Financial Fat Cats."
by Kamal El-Din
Bush:  "Higher Taxes and More of them On the Way."(Washington) The President took a surprisingly somber and bipartisan tone today as he outlined a program to fix the financial crisis caused by his administration's hands off economic polices. In a speech in the Rose Garden the President announced that the taxes of hardworking middle class Americans will be used to buy up the bad debts created by the poorly regulated mortgage and investment banking industries.

"Americans have always come together to fight for their country in times of need, "said the President in a stirring appeal to the people. "And today is one of those times. The last eight years have been a period of outstanding growth and excess in the American financial industry, and now it is time to clean up the mess. It is going to take money, and lots of it, which is going to mean higher taxes and lots of them. Now, I know many people will say the American people won't stand for it, but I know Americans will rise to the challenge. I know taxpayers will happily agree to bailout financial fat cats if that is what it will take to save the country."

While many Washington pundits have called the Presidents words a complete betrayal of his ideals, his party, and working class Americans, the public is greeting call for help with an open heart and open wallets.

"America needs my help," Says recently unemployed auto worker Cliff Tonwsend. "So I'm going to dig deep and help her out. It will be a sacrifice for my family and the entire next generation to pay for the excess of the last eight years year, but as an American I am proud to do it. And I know my kids and their kids will be proud to pay as well. The poor and middle class have always supported the rich in this country, so I don't see how this time is any different."
The President and The Republican Party should be glad that Americans are greeting the plan with an open mind. The bailout plan is expected to create an additional 2 trillion dollars of debt for future generations to pay off.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.