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Palin Blames Polar Bears for Global Warming
by NickFun
Palin kills a polar bear with her bear hands in an effort to stem Global Warming
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin insisted today that global warming is actually being caused by polar bears warming the ice and insisted the animals be shot on site and turned into rugs and coats.

"Those bears get very hot because they are all covered in fat and fur", she told the news media at a morning press conference. "This causes the ice to melt, temperatures to rise and is causing all the problems we see today".

Palin stated that with proper hunting and killing the animals could be brought under control and the global warming problem would vanish.

Alaska has been the state hit hardest by global warming with average temperatures rising over 4 degrees in the past 50 years. Palin attributes this to our ignorance of the bears role in the phenomenon. She claimed that if there were no polar bears the Earth's temperature would return to 1950's levels.

"I hate all these scientists who think they know everything and blame human beings for the problem", the Evangelical Christian governor continued. "I get my knowledge from Jesus because he knows more than they do. Not only that but polar bears eat people!"

*Palin also insists the world is only 10,000 years old, evolution is a myth and Jesus will soon be here to punish disbelievers.

"Don't blame me when you all wind up burning in the fires of hell for eternity", she said with a smile.

*This paragraph is true.
 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



janice wrote:
We don't need people like her.
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nickfun wrote:
I agree Janice. Let's vote against her shall we?
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Kim Arnold wrote:
That is the stupidest idea i have ever heard! I mean come on, you really think that these amazing animals could be responsible for this? Did you ever think that it is because of the humans that live in this world, and all the things that we waste and despose of. I dont know how any person got elected, but she is one person that should not of been. And what is she saying? Does she want us to really kill all of these bears just so things can be like they were in the 50's. Common life has changed so much since then, and does she want all that back too?
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nickfun wrote:
You tell 'em Kim! You know the most amazing thing? Some people don't realize the story is a JOKE!
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