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Body of Woman Found; Police Don't Care
by NickFun
Police, FBI, CIA and many other organizations spent over $20 million to find Steve Fossett but only $3.25 per person to locate poor people.
The body of a 58 year old Pomona, CA woman was found just shy of the Nevada state line. Police say they are not investigating because the woman was poor.

San Bernardino police were alerted to the body of Luisa Aguilar Ventura after a passing trucker found her just south of Highway 15 on the California/Nevada line. Police investigators determined she had no cash or personal assets of any significance and investigating her death would just be a waste of taxpayer money.

"This is just a poor Mexican immigrant woman who was probably here illegally", said Police Chief Byron McGee. "If she was a rich starlet or a wealthy businessman you can rest assured we would be out in full force trying to find out what happened."

Police have not ruled out homicide in the case but they have not ruled it a homicide either.

"We really don't care", McGee admitted. "We know she was in the passenger seat of her grandsons car on her way to Vegas but that's all we know. She might have been killed or she might have just wandered away and died of dehydration."

Police officials say that they prefer to save their resources for wealthy people like formerly missing aviator Steve Fossett. The total cost for searching for Fossett's crashed plane has exceeded $20 million.

"You can't expect us to spend that kind of money every time a poor person dies", explained Sgt Ralph Stetson.

Ventura's case is just one of hundreds of unexplained deaths that police refuse to investigate each year.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



zycus13 wrote:
I think the fucking police better care because I pay my taxes as well as my aunt. They should think about their own fucking family-if we can't get help from the police than they should change their logo from "To protect and serve" to "fuck you all".
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nickfun wrote:
You tell 'em Zycus! Never mind that this story is a joke (though perhaps with some basis in fact)!
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