Nike and other shoe companies Introduce New Easy-To-Throw Footwear
by NickFun
Easy to throw Nike shoes dangle from wires at this Nike testing facility.
After viewing the pitiful throw of Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zaidi, Nike Inc. has introduced a new line of balanced, easy-to-throw footwear.

"It's pitiful that a man with an arm like Muntadar al-Zaidi should miss the target twice", said Nike spokesperson Neil Blumenfeld, "therefore, we have designed a shoe with more balance in the heel and toe to make the shoe fly further and with more precision".

The shoe, tentatively called "EasyThrow", has a nylon reinforced toe and stronger heel which would make running, walking and throwing the shoe more comfortable.

"From now on, when a journalist throws a shoe and misses we can rest assured it was not a Nike EasyThrow", Blumenfield continued.

Not to be outdone, shoe maker New Balance announced that they will be selling a new line of running shoe with steel reinforced toes and heels.

"Our shoe will be even easier to throw and hit harder than the nylon reinforced Nike shoe without sacrificing quality", said New Balance spokesperson Larry Vachon.

Ladies shoe maker Anne Klein, Inc has plans to start producing a fashionable yet powerful high heeled pump later this year.

"Our shoe will have 5", easy to throw spikes and it will be easy for a female journalist to impale someone from a distance as far as 30 feet", said Anne Klein spokeswoman Jackie Fortuna. "Of course, we don't recommend impaling the President!"

The Anne Klein shoes will retail for $375 a pair.

"But for a stylish throwing show it's worth it!" Fortuna excaimed.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.