Israeli Sponsored Hamas Recruiting Drive Is a Success
by Kamal El-Din
Israeli Missile Helps Hamas Recruiting Drive In Gaza. Image by Poderiu(Gaza)The Israeli Army's recent Hamas recruiting drive has been a terrific success says Hamas officials. The drive started several days ago with multiple air strikes and shelling has now moved into it's second phase with actual on the ground recruiting by Israeli ground forces.

"The drive is showing early indications of the being the best in history." Says our secret Israeli military source. "With the cease fire that has been in effect for nearly a year we realized that the strength of Hamas was weakening and needed a boost. Having a strong and active Hamas is key to shaping the electoral landscape of internal Israeli politics. With the possibility of peace looming we knew we had to act to maintain a war footing to marginalize any of the left-leaning peace parties inside Israel."

The plan seems to be working as a new generation of younger Palestinians that hadn't been fully radicalized seems finally to be coming around. Studies have shown that peace during the critical childhood years of between 8 and 11 for children can lead to lifetime of moderate worldviews. A critical loss of a family member or close friend during those keys years will ensure that a child will be radicalized and unable to compromise in the name of peace.

Experts believe that, while several top leaders of Hamas have been killed, a bumper crop of radical Palestinian youth will be able to fill the vacancies in the upper ranks.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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