FINA, the international governing body for aquatic sports, declared today that hi-tech swimsuits such as Speedo's LZR Racer and a swimsuit made by Italian swimsuit maker Arena are giving swimmers unfair advantages and stated that from now on all competitive swimmers will be required to swim nude.
Bob Bowman, coach for Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps, claimed he would withdraw Phelps from competition unless FINA agreed to the change.
"Michael should be winning every meet he enters", Bowman declared. "But he likes to swim with very little on and this gives him a disadvantage!"
FINA spokesperson Sheila Yamamoto claimed the only way to be fair was to not allow the swimmers to wear swimsuits.
Some athletes praised the FINA decision. "I don't care. I've already posed nude for Playboy and for PETA (People for the Ethical Tratment of Animals)", said seven time Olympic medal winner Amanda Beard.
Some of the athletes expressed concerns that swimming nude would actually hinder their performance. German swimming champion Paul Biedermann, who recently beat Phelps in the 200M freestyle, stated "I can't swim nude with my giant schlong! It would act like a rudder throwing me off course! This ruling gives the advantage to men with tiny schlongs!"
"I'm sure his schlong shrinks like a turtle just like every man's when you get him in a cold pool", said Yamamoto.
FINA declared their decision is final and no appeals would be granted.