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Tiger Woods Enters Treatment for Sex Addiction
by NickFun
Tiger Woods and some of the women he has allegedly had sex with.
Embattled #1 golfer Tiger Woods had admitted himself into Impuissant Medical Center in Jupiter, FL for treatment of sex addiction, according to Unconfirmed Sources.

"It started off as just copping a feel here and there", Tiger stated. "Then I found it easy to get to third base and even scoring. Sex, like golf, is all about scoring".

Woods admits he has engaged in sexual relations with some of the most beautiful women in the world including Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Mindy Lawton, Jamie Junger, Cori Rist and perhaps dozens of high priced prostitutes from former madam Michelle Braun.

"Tell me something. If you have gorgeous women beating down your door would you try to resist them?" Woods defied a reporter. "When they stick their heavy mounds of silicon in your face and ask you to (make love to) them it's impossible to turn them away!"

Woods has also payed up to $18,000 for a single encounter with one of the high priced call girls but, as a billionaire, he didn't find the price unreasonable.

"That was money well spent!" Woods insisted.

Doctors treating Woods were tight lipped about the treatment he was receiving though one doctor, who asked not to be named, said they ruled out chemical or surgical castration.

Woods is not the first celebrity to seek treatment for sex addiction. He joins such famous celebrities as Michael Douglas, David Douchovny, former Spice Girl Mel B, former President Bill Clinton, pop singer Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and former Red Sox player Wade Boggs, among thousands of others.

Woods was quick to point out that he simply enjoyed 'straight sex' with the women and did not engage in menages, fetishes or S&M, as a rule.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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