UCS Reporters
The Dood Abides
Dominus Noster
Ed E. Druckman
Kamal El-Din
Gunther Schnitzel
Chuck Terzella
Walid
Nickfun

 

 

 

Pat Robertson To Replace Simon Cowell on "American Idol"!
by Ed E. Druckman
New "Idol" Judge Gives His Rating.(Los Angeles-CA) TMZ.com posted that sources close to Fremantle Media, the company producing "American Idol", is considering "700 Club" founder evangelist Pat Robertson to replace Simon Cowell.

TMZ claims the information came from an e-mail that was leaked by an "American Idol" staffer close to the creator of the show, Simon Fuller. Robertson went to the head of the judge class, which included such names as Sean "Diddy" Combs and Sir Elton John.

The 80 year old Robertson came to the attention of "American Idol" after making the statement that the devastating earthquake hitting Haiti was due to a pact the nation made with the devil to free itself from French colonial rule. "They said, We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.' True story. And so, the devil said, 'Okay it's a deal,'" was the exact quote from the broadcast.

The e-mail cites this quote and the reaction to it. "This is Cowell concentrate. Can you imagine the comments he will make if one of Idol contestants is Muslim or even Italian!" However, the e-mail also noted certain pitfalls. "It's far from a slam dunk...not without risk. Robertson puts 'True story' at the absolute wrong spot in the critique." And finally Robertson's look, "Do you think he would work in a black T-shirt and mullet? Should we leave that gray, the hair not the T?"

Calls to "American Idol" from TMZ were not returned. However, the "Idol" production office did issue the following statement. "There are many people being considered for the position Simon Cowell will be vacating at the end of this season. To say that Pat Robertson is a candidate would be as absurd as to say that Sir Elton John is not."

In an ironic turn, after TMZ broke the story, a Twitter account titled @DevilRobertson sprung up, on which Tweets predominantly sympathetic to Haiti and its plight have accused Robertson of making a pact with the devil in order to suddenly be the "American Idol" front runner judge candidate. "Rev. @DevilRobertson new Idol judge" and "Pat Robertson + Devil Pact = New Idol Judge" are only a few of the 300 tweets an hour.

Robertson's publicist issued the following statement on both the "American Idol" judge position and the @DevilRobertson Twitter account. "We will neither confirm nor deny that Pat Robertson is in consideration for being a judge on "American Idol". However, we can say that Reverend Robertson has not made a pact with the devil...for this."

The devil was unavailable for comment.

 Subscribe to Ed-E-torial



Follow Ed on Twitter.

The Story of the Tortoise and the Hare


What's the story with According To Jim?


Is time relative? And how does that relate to me?




 
Rate This Item
 
I Liked It
 
Print
1376 Views
 
Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Add Your Comments








Comments must be approved before being published.

 

In case You Missed Them...

Bush shows off his latest manicure from "Nails-r-Us" in Arlington, VA The 60 Year Old Moron

Joe the Plumber lays pipe...... Republicans react as Joe the Plumber reveals that he's gay

smoke filled room Philip Morris sponsors 'Start and Win' contest

 

Recently in the News