Orrin Hatch Declares War on Heath Care Reform and Uninsured Americans
by Walid
Orrin Hatch prepares for Health Care Jihad....(Washington D.C.) UCS News: Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) is so against helping uninsured Americans he has declared war. "It is going to be outright war and it should be." Hatch said. According to staffers Senator Hatch is personally going to launch a "Jihad" style attack on Senate Democrats if the congressional reconciliation rules are used to pass President Obama's Health Care Reform package

Unconfirmed sources have confirmed that Senator Hatch has already be fitted with a suicide vest. According to staffers Hatch intends to wear the vest while launching a last ditch effort to deny millions affordable health care.

While many in Washington are trying to block heath care reform of behalf of their corporate pay masters, Orrin Hatch has taken to the fight with an energetic, some say sadistic, zeal. Hatch said Thursday that using reconciliation would be "one of the worst grabs for power in the history of the country" that would permanently impact relations between the two parties.

In a note to fellow Senator Mitch McConnell Hatch stated, "I would rather see small children die by the thousands than allow Democrats to score a political points while serving the interests of this less fortunate Americans." Hatch went on to call uninsured Americans "pathetic losers".

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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