Apple To Take 30% Cut On Voice Orders Taken Over iPhone
by Kamal El-Din
Apple Goes for All the Cash!(Palo Alto, California) Apple announced today that as of March 1st it will take a 30% cut of all commerce done over the iPhone. Apple will use a voice recognition system to monitor all phone calls and transcribe order information so that any company taking voice orders over the iPhone can be billed. The announcement is a clarification of a policy released to developers and publishers last week when Apple indicated that all subscriptions purchased through the phone would be subject to a 30% fee.

"There are a lot of rumors and bad information out there about our policy," says Apple spokesman Kent Rackman. "Let me make this clear, if you buy something with our phone, whether it be a subscription, ebook or application from itunes or you call up a company and give them your credit card number over the phone, or call your broker and agree to buy a house, we are going to take a 30% cut."

"We are providing the platform for these transactions to take place and are thus entitled to be paid for it." Continued Rackman. "Without our platform these valuable transactions could not take place. We feel no shame in making sure that we get paid for our services. If people don't like the fact that we need to get paid they are welcome to use a competing product."

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.