Michigan Man Unimpressed By Venus Transit of the Sun
by NickFun
Jenkins complained that this celestial event was too small for him to bother with
Elroy Jenkins a 32 year old Midland, Michigan construction worker, claims that the remarkable transit of the sun by the planet Venus did not impress him at all.

"Big deal!" Jenkins exclaimed. "You see a little speck moving across the sun. Big woop dee doo! I get more thrills watching golf on TV. And I hate watching golf!"

Scientists claim that Venus will not transit the sun for another 105 years thus making this a last-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Still, Jenkins expressed little interest. "Is Venus in front of the sun going to make me richer? Will it put food on the table? Will it make me a better person? Hell no!"

It would appear that Jenkins is not the only one unimpressed by the celestial wonder. Mary Phibbs of Toledo, OH was also unmoved. "I could just put my hand in front of my face and tell everyone, 'hey look! My hand is transiting the sun!' I think that would be even more impressive".

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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