Unconfirmed sources report that the President has hired the outspoken Internet character Avery Ant to be his new spokesmen. Avery Ant is a surprise choice as a spokesmen, but more than one Washington insider is calling the selection bold, decisive and completely inline with new Bush agenda.
"What a savvy move." Said media and Washington watcher Brook Gladstone of NPR's On The Media. "If the President is going to sell his agenda to the youth of America then Avery Ant is just the Ant to do it, even if he is a Canadian. This is going to be a tough job, it takes a special kind of guy to stand in front of the camera and lie to America. The President can do it, but he is going to need more help, now that Colin Powell is leaving."
"I think the fiery little guy is just the sort of spokesmen the President is going to need during he second term." Agreed Andrew Sullivan. "The President is going to be neck deep in scandal during his second term and an Ant like Avery could really help smooth the way by acting as a lightening rod. With such an inflammatory spokesmen the President himself is going to look down right moderate."
Mike Erskine-Kellie a long time Avery friend and confidant of Avery Ant speaks very highly the little fella. "I've known Avery since he was just a pupa. Right from the start I knew that he was meant for something great. You could tell he wasn't going to hang around the colony; he had more drive and talent then all the other ants in the place. As a spokesman for the President…I don't know. He can be a bit honest and straightforward. He might be a bit to candid for the American public, but he certainly will make the president look thoughtful and level headed."
Avery Ant is vehemently denying the rumors that he has been hired as President Bush's new spokesman. However the ranting ant and PO'd pismire does admit to spending some "quality time" with President Bush during the 1980's and reluctantly confirmed he was recently approached about the job.
"But I said no way baby, I don't swing that way… Not many people know this, but I used to tip cows with George during our wild frat boy days. Although he really wasn't all that much fun to party with: George tended to weep uncontrollably when he got loaded."
The PO'd pismire did however admit that he was willing to discuss certain other projects with the President, "I might consider going golfing with him – hey, I can always use a caddy. And you can quote me on that – but please don't, I don't want to get George all mad at me. He's a testy little guy… Now who's up for cocktails?"
To lean more about Avery visit www.averyant.com