Unconfirmed sources deep inside the US armies Iraq Survey Group report they have found a fully functioning WMD. Located inside a top secret weapons research facility, cleverly disguised as a baby milk factory, the WMD was apparently left unsecured after the fall of Sadams regime.
The details of the devices construction are well know to many in the International weapons community and to the many late night shoppers of the QVC network Duelfer the CIAs top weapons inspector explained the device they found was an Ionic Breeze Quadra Silent Air Purifier® Model #SI637SNX. The Iraq Survey Group found the device was devilishly modified by removing the grounding wire from the Three prong cord and connected to a 220 volt circuit .
Duelfer went on to explain the Survey team was surprised by the skill of the Iraq weapons designers. "The Model #SI637SNX Ionic Breeze Quadra Silent Air Purifier® was not originally designed to run off 220 Volt outlets, with the removal of the grounding wire and conversion to the higher voltage.....This is a truly deadly device...." "With the Iraqi conversion it's not really an Ionic Breeze®, it's more like an Ionic cannon."
Duelfer also claimed the Iraqis had developed a small portable version of the device "A device this size would be perfect for a group like al-Qaeda to smuggle into the US or you could use it to clean the air in a bathroom"
Richard Thalheimer, Sharper Image founder, chairman and chief executive officer claims the sale of the Model #SI637SNX Ionic Breeze Quadra Silent Air Purifier® to Iraq was legal under the United Nations Cash, Guns, Kickbacks, and Food for Oil Program. Thalheimer went on to claim the Model #SI637SNX Ionic Breeze Quadra Silent Air Purifier® is a legitimate "Dual Use" technology. " Richard Thalheimer is under investigation by the the CIA, FBI and Consumer Reports magazine.
When asked if it was worth the 300 Billion dollars and nearly 30 thousand troops and civilians killed to recover the Model #SI637SNX Ionic Breeze Quadra Silent Air Purifier®, Duelfer simply shrugged. "I don't make policy, I just report the facts , no matter how stupid it makes the President look."