UCS Reporters
The Dood Abides
Dominus Noster
Ed E. Druckman
Kamal El-Din
Gunther Schnitzel
Chuck Terzella
Walid
Nickfun

 

 

 
Pope Benedict XVI Achieves Orgasm
 
by NickFun
 
Pope Benedict announces his first orgasm to the news media.
(Vatican City, Vatican) Former Hitler Youth member Joseph Ratzinger, now better known as Pope Benedict XVI, proudly disclosed to the news media that he achieved his first orgasm last night after a late night swim with 26-year-old US Sister Mary McConnell.

Read More

__________________________________

 

 
Twitter Crashes. People Forced To Actually Talk To Each Other!
 
by Ed E. Druckman
 
E-E-T: News For The Earth And Moon.(London-England) It happened this week, the unthinkable. Twitter, the popular micro-blogging site where users can post matters of interest in 140 characters or less, was shut down due to a denial of service plot hatched by a hacker against a Twitter user, Cyxymu, a pro-Georgian blogger. The attack was to mark the one-year anniversary of the Russia-Georgia conflict. However, its impact reached much farther when humans actually had to talk to each other.

Read More

__________________________________

 

 
Obama Invites Middle Eastern Leaders to Beer Summit
 
by NickFun
 
Obama is certain this is the way to achieve peace in the world.
After the successful beer summit which helped heal race relations in the US, President Barack Obama has invited Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Israeli President Shimon Peres to a beer summit in Washington, DC this fall.

Read More

__________________________________

 

 
Dallas Federal Reserve Bank President Richard Fisher asks China to buy U.S. toilet paper
 
by Dominus Noster
 
Former porn actress China Lee has over $1 trillion in U.S. Treasury toilet paper reservesDALLAS -- Dallas Federal Reserve Bank Richard Fisher spent time on Sunday asking the former porn actress China Lee to keep buying U.S. toilet paper. The U.S. is presently running an account deficit with China Lee. China presently holds some $1 trillion worth of U.S. toilet paper reserves.

Read More

__________________________________

 

Jesus slams God as dead beat dad

Rapture Index Soars Rapture Index Spikes as Hurricanes, Bird Flu, Wild Fires, Floods, and Earth Quakes Lash the Earth

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki announces Iraqi troop withdrawal from Iraq Iraqi government announces Iraqi troop withdrawal from Iraq

Avian Flu is terrorist plot George W. Bush Reveals Avian Flu is Iraqi Al Qaeda Plot

2.2 Million Sudanese apply for Indonesian Citizenship: Jakarta Says No Way

 

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

 

Recently in the News