UCS Reporters
The Dood Abides
Dominus Noster
Ed E. Drukman
Kamal El-Din
Chuck Terzella







My real name is Jeff Vachon. Don't bother looking me up. I only have a cell phone and that's unlisted. But email me if you'd like to spout off! My email is nickefun@gmail.com. It really is! send me an email if you don't believe me! I may get back to you within a week. Or a month. Or a year. Or at least within this lifetime. Or the next one.

NickFun 's Stories

2012-07-19     Sheriff Joe Arpaio Denied Racial Profiling

2012-06-08     Obama Admits; Private Sector Sucks

2012-06-05     Michigan Man Unimpressed By Venus Transit of the Sun

2012-05-10     Mitt Romney Admits to Masturbating

2012-04-08     The 99% Cheer as 50% of the 1% to be Tried for Tax Evasion

2012-02-18     Cure For Tooth Decay Found

2012-01-04     Researchers Find Link Between Obesity; Calories

2011-12-28     Facebook Offers Solution to Privacy Concerns

2011-12-18     Barefoot Bandit Secretly Inks $5 Million Movie Deal

2011-12-04     God Apologizes To Herman Cain

2011-11-09     University of Texas Offers George W. Bush $1000 for Speech

2011-11-06     Herman Cain Defends Harassment Claims

2011-11-02     Wikileaks Founder Julian Assange Charged With Failure To Use Condom; Being Lousy Lover

2011-10-19     Children Are Not Medicated Enough, FDA Panel Concludes

2011-10-15     Wall Street Relents to Protesters Demands; Will No Longer Make Profits

2011-09-14     Cure for all known viruses found; Human Testing to Begin in 10 Years

2011-08-27     Media trying Desperately to Avoid Ron Paul

2011-08-22     Aliens Plan Takeover of Planet Earth

2011-08-20     Germans Order Removal of Facebook "Like" Button

2011-08-18     MLB Bans Meat and Fish As Performance Enhancing Supplements

2011-08-11     Macy's Department Stores Admit They Watch Customers Undress

2011-08-10     Alaska Orange Goo May Be Eggs of Extraterrestrials

2011-08-07     US Government Seeks to Shut Down SandP; Replace With Homeland Economy

2011-08-05     California Legalizes Medicinal Sex; Expects $Billions In New Taxes

2011-08-05     New Anti-Aging Cream Is Pure Bull Shit

2011-08-01     Casey Anthony Agrees to Pose Nude for Hustler Magazine

2011-07-30     Debt Ceiling Plan Not Approved; Banks Foreclose on US

2011-07-27     Casey Anthony Fights For Murderers Rights

2011-07-23     Federal Government Creates GOD To Watch Citizens

2011-07-21     New Law Makes Looking Like Kim Kardashian Illegal

2011-07-19     White House: Killing People Is Our Number One Priority

2011-07-17     Casey Anthony Current Location Revealed

2011-07-14     Wall Street Journal, New York Post, Fox Broadcasting and All Other Rupert Murdoch Companies To Close

2011-07-12     Obama and Congress Agree To Raise Debt Ceiling to $120 Trillion

2011-07-10     Michele Bachmann Insists Being Gay Is A Choice

2011-07-09     Michelle Bachmann Vows To Eliminate Porn; Nude Women

2011-07-05     Casey Anthony To Be Tried For Parking Violation

2011-07-03     Exxon Downplays Yellowstone River Oil Spill

2011-06-28     Microsoft Patents New Skype Technology To watch You Masturbate

2011-06-26     God Clarifies What He Told Republican Minnesota Rep. Michelle Bachmann

2011-06-24     Feds Waited Until Whitey Bulger Had Alzheimer's Before Making Arrest, According to Sources

2011-06-20     Actor/Satire Writer Jeff Vachon Needs Money

2011-06-19     Hackers Steal All Money From All Banks

2011-06-18     Scientists Claim Comet Hartley 2 Is Alive!

2011-06-16     God Punishing Humanity For Premarital Sex and Masturbating Through Tornadoes, Fires, Floods and Earthquakes

2011-06-11     Alabama Tones Down Immigration Law

2011-06-10     Psychologist Explains Why Congressmen Show Their Penises

2011-06-08     Liberty County Texas Courts Rule Psychic Visions Reasonable For Search and Seizure

2011-06-07     Sarah Palin Insists Booth Did Not Kill Lincoln; Implicates CIA Conspiracy

2011-06-05     Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Call It Quits

2011-06-02     Mitt Romney Accused Of Using Performance Enhancing Hair Products

2011-06-01     Congressman Anthony Weiner Claims Penis Picture Is Not His; Offers Proof

2011-05-28     Statue of Liberty To Be Demolished For Shopping Mall

2011-05-18     Supreme Court Nullifies Fourth Amendment

2010-11-08     Obama Promises He Will Outsource More Jobs to India

2010-11-06     Keith Olbermann Violated MSNBC Anti-Free-Speech Policy, According to Phil Griffin

2010-11-01     Warren Redlich Elected New York Governor

2010-10-31     New Smartphones Eliminate Need For Brain

2010-10-31     For The Record; Satire Writer Posts Corrections

2010-10-26     Most Americans Agree With Juan Williams

2010-10-23     UFOs over Denver, CO Spark Ballot Initiative

2010-10-17     Christine O'Donnell Hospitalized After Achieving Orgasm

2010-10-13     UFO Lands in New York City; Shops

2010-10-09     Meg Whitman Not a Whore, According to Sources

2010-10-04     United States Military Announces "Sexy" New Weapon

2010-09-28     Newly Announced North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un Is A Total Dumbass, According to Sources

2010-09-18     Christine O'Donnell Admits to Masturbating

2010-09-14     Former Craigslist Johns Finding It Difficult To Find Prostitutes

2010-09-11     Officials Unable to Explain San Bruno Explosion

2010-09-03     Study Reveals; All Politicians Are Corrupt

2010-08-23     City Water for Port Hueneme, CA Now More Expensive Than Bottled Water

2010-08-17     Pop Star Justin Bieber Plans Comeback World Tour for 2035

2010-08-13     Jury Unanimously Agrees Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich Is An Idiot

2010-08-03     Brooks Institute Closes Its Doors

2010-08-02     Study Reveals, Most News Stories are Fraudulent

2010-07-26     General Stanley McChrystal Admits Selling Secrets to Wikileaks

2010-07-20     U.S. Government Employees Selling Classified Information for Cash

2010-07-15     Spirit Airline to Charge for Oxygen

2010-07-13     Mel Gibson Attacks More Ethnic Groups

2010-07-03     Supreme Court Nominee Elena Kagen Admits to Masturbating

2010-07-01     Members of CIA, FBI, NSA, Pentagon and Homeland Security Admit Sleeping With Russian Spy Anna Chapman

2010-06-29     After Arrest of Russian Spies, State Department Reveals; Russians Now Know Everything

2010-06-26     Provincetown, MA Schoolchildren Angry After Being Denied Condoms

2010-06-25     Gore Admits He Had Erection During Massage

2010-06-11     Massive Earthquake to Strike Southern California in Ten Minutes

2010-06-10     Rush Limbaugh To Sing at Elton John's Wedding

2010-06-06     Career Education Corporation Blames Brooks Institute President Roger Andersen For Economy

2010-06-05     BP Assures Public: Oil Well Will Be Sealed By 2015

2010-05-22     Meg Whitman Unable to Achieve Orgasm

2010-05-17     Brooks Institute Resorts to Torture to Increase Enrollments

2010-04-27     Obama Seeks to Encourage Mexican Slavery

2010-04-24     Pope Benedict XVI Refuses to Resign Citing 'I Love This Job'

2010-04-18     Warren Redlich In No-Sex Scandal

2010-04-14     Sarah Palin To Host Nature Show

2010-04-07     Racing Legend Speed Racer Dead at 58

2010-03-31     Bill Seeks to Prevent Truck Drivers From Receiving or Administering Oral Sex

2010-03-27     Texas Governor Rick Perry Legalizes Murder

2010-03-22     Sarah Palin Seeks To Make Lots of Money

2010-03-19     New Sex Toy Attracts Investors Warren Buffett and Oprah

2010-03-13     Mississippi Offers Compromise to Same Sex Prom Girls

2010-03-08     U.S. Government Behind Toyota Sudden Acceleration Problem, According to NHTSA Official

2010-03-05     Peeping Tom Victim Blake Robbins To Become Spokesperson For Mike and Ike Candy

2010-02-28     Toyota Blames Gremlins For Sudden Acceleration Issues

2010-02-25     NY Gubernatorial Candidate Warren Redlich Wants to Starve Public Sector Employees

2010-02-20     Lower Merion, PA School Using Computers to Watch Kids Undress, Shower, Etc.

2010-02-16     Southwest Airlines Insists Two Thin People Share Single Seat

2010-02-09     Tiger Woods No Longer Wants Sex

2010-02-08     Tiger Woods Still Wants Sex

2010-02-04     "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Rescinded. Gays Coming Out of Closets

2010-01-31     Farmville Man Can't Handle YoVille

2010-01-23     Brooks Institute To Offer Certificate in Pornography

2010-01-19     Guilderland, NY Board Member Warren Redlich Losing His Hair

2010-01-18     New York Press Trying to Ignore Libertarian Warren Redlich

2009-12-31     Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano Unable to Achieve Orgasm; Nation's Security at Stake

2009-12-28     Connection Between Oil Drilling and Global Climate Change Discovered

2009-12-20     Santa Claus Files for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

2009-12-17     Osama bin Laden Crashes White House Party

2009-12-13     Tiger Woods Enters Treatment for Sex Addiction

2009-12-12     Nobel Committee Asks Barack Obama to Return Peace Prize

2009-12-07     South Dakota Man Couldn't Care Less About Tiger Woods

2009-11-29     Large Hadron Collider Finds No Trace of Higgs Boson

2009-11-29     Tiger Woods and Wife in Possible Auto Insurance Scam?

2009-11-22     CIA Admits to Drug Trafficking

2009-11-14     In Addition to Water, NASA LCROSS Mission Finds Gold on Moon

2009-10-31     Senator Joe Lieberman Vows to End Poverty

2009-10-26     Obama Plays Basketball Against Women; Wins 118 - 2

2009-10-22     Obama Signs Hate Crimes Bill

2009-10-09     U.S. Government to Honor UFO Computer Hacker Gary McKinnon

2009-10-09     Obama Wins Nobel Prize for Killing No More Than Bush

2009-10-08     Sarah Palin Shocked As Levi Johnston Plans to Expose His Penis

2009-10-07     Hybrid Vehicles Get a Free Ride

2009-10-03     David Letterman Admits To Enjoying Sex With Women

2009-09-23     UFO Disguised as C-130 Transport Plane Attempts Two Landing at North Carolina Airport

2009-09-20     Governor Paterson Still Plans to Run Despite Everyone Hating Him

2009-09-19     Megan Fox Plans to Marry By End of April

2009-09-17     Maybe Health Care Should Be About Compassion

2009-09-16     Recession is Over According to Upbeat Government Analysis

2009-09-14     Pope Benedict XVI Achieves Orgasm

2009-09-11     Peeping Tom Expresses Concern for Erin Andrews

2009-09-05     RIAA Bans Beatles Songs for Pedophile References

2009-09-01     Scientists Warn of Dangers of Solar Energy

2009-08-31     Afghan War Winnable If Enough People Die Says General Stanley McChrystal

2009-08-28     UFOs cancel plans to attack Earth Thanks to Global Climate Change

2009-08-17     People Searching Google for Nude Video of Erin Andrews

2009-08-17     Al Franken Resigns Senate Seat

2009-08-12     Supreme Court Declares First Amendment Unconstitutional

2009-08-11     Google's Caffeine Enhanced Search Engine much faster than Regular Google

2009-08-10     NASA's Kepler Space Telescope Discovers Earth-Like Planet

2009-08-06     Gays Turning Straight Thanks to Therapy

2009-08-04     Obama Invites Middle Eastern Leaders to Beer Summit

2009-07-28     Thanks to Michael Phelps, All Swimmers to be Required to Swim Nude

2009-07-25     Cambridge, MA Police Not Racist; Just Pricks

2009-07-20     California Resorts to Dope Dealing to Solve Fiscal Crisis

2009-07-17     NASA Admits Apollo Moon Landings Were a Hoax

2009-07-13     Religious Leaders Agree: Former Vice President Dick Cheney is Going to Hell

2009-07-10     Al Franken Gains Senate Seat; Loses Sense of Humor

2009-07-03     Sarah Palin Resigns as Alaska Governor to Become Stay At Home Mom

2009-06-29     TV Pitchman Billy Mays Died His Hair, According to Autopsy Results

2009-06-26     South Carolina Man Couldn't Care Less About Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett or Mark Sanford

2009-06-23     South Carolina Governor Denies Going On Bender

2009-06-19     Apple iPhone 3G S Adds Vibrator Option

2009-06-15     User Reports Bing Better Than Google

2009-06-07     How Does the US Government define a "Small Business"?

2009-05-30     Sock, Dryer Manufacturers Reach Agreement

2009-05-25     Provincetown, MA Judge Bans Private Nudity

2009-05-21     Obama Optimistic Economy Will Turn Around by 2109

2009-05-01     Ann Coulter to Have Adam's Apple Removed

2009-05-01     Biden Urges Everyone To Stay Home and Lock The Doors

2009-04-26     Major Newspapers Changing to All-Satire Format

2009-04-21     The Secret to Getting Government Contracts is Being Disadvantaged Small Business/Woman Owner/Disabled Veteran/Minority

2009-04-19     Get Rich Quick With Government Contracts!

2009-04-16     California Legislature Makes Discrimination Mandatory

2009-04-11     CIA Seeking Intelligent, Sexy Women

2009-04-05     Obama Fires WalMart Employee

2009-03-28     Catholic Church to Allow Sex Toys

2009-03-10     Los Angeles Man Gets New Job

2009-03-05     California Supreme Court Offers Compromise Solution to Same Sex Marriage Ban

2009-02-27     California Governor Urges Men to Pee Outside

2009-02-24     California to Legalize Marijuana

2009-02-19     Salvia Divinorum to Remain Legal

2009-02-11     Michelle Obama to Pose Nude for Playboy

2009-02-04     Paris Hilton Agrees to Spend More to Save America

2009-02-04     President Obama's Bong is Missing

2009-02-02     Michael Phelps Spotted Taking Painkillers and Performance Enhancing Substances

2009-02-02     Obama proposes New Breath Tax

2009-01-28     Obama in Secret $30 Million Deal With Blackberry

2009-01-26     Woman Arrested in Plot to Seduce Obama

2009-01-21     Obama to Eliminate Abstinence Only Education

2009-01-19     NASA Discovers Belching and Farting Life on Mars; Elsewhere

2009-01-16     Fewer Men Fantasizing About Angelina Jolie

2009-01-13     Satire Writer Seeks to Make Money

2009-01-12     U.S. Military Develops Environmentally Friendly Green Bomb

2009-01-09     Obama Will Give Each American $1 Million

2009-01-05     Whatever Happened to the Firm Handshake?

2009-01-04     Airline Pilot Has Never Seen A UFO

2009-01-03     Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps Dangerously Out Of Shape, Say Doctors

2009-01-01     Bristol Palin Gives Birth to Baby Jesus

2008-12-28     Facebook Bans Nipples and Areolas

2008-12-24     U.S. Air Force Shoots Down Santa's Sleigh

2008-12-23     Paris Hilton Appointed Secretary of the Exterior by Obama

2008-12-21     U.S. President George W. Bush to be Tried on 1.2 Million Counts of Murder

2008-12-20     Bush's War on Drugs Ends With Success

2008-12-18     Iraqi Journalist Pretends to Apologize for Throwing Shoes at Bush

2008-12-16     Microsoft Admits Internet Explorer Browser is a Piece of "Crap"

2008-12-15     Nike and other shoe companies Introduce New Easy-To-Throw Footwear

2008-12-13     Bush Plans Military Assault on Enceladus

2008-12-12     Obama Announces All Cars to be Outfitted with GPS Devices

2008-12-10     Hillary Clinton Still Wishes to be President

2008-12-06     Obama Encourages Americans to Print Their Own Money

2008-12-05     Cure for All Known Illnesses Found; Banned

2008-12-02     Santa's Workshop Closes Its Doors

2008-12-01     75% of MySpace Users to be Arrested

2008-11-29     Body of Woman Found; Police Don't Care

2008-11-27     Medical Schools Lower Their Standards

2008-11-25     UFOs/Aliens Are Stealing Human Technology

2008-11-24     U.S. Government to Publish All Top Secret Files

2008-11-21     U.S. Attorney General Michael Mukasey Poisoned By His Own Words

2008-11-19     Astronaut Loses Handbag in Space

2008-11-18     Universe on Verge of Collapse; God Declares Bankruptcy

2008-11-14     Mormon LDS Church to Consider Allowing Masturbation

2008-11-13     Cassini-Huygens Mission Finds Intelligent Life on Saturn

2008-11-11     Doctors Encouraging Everyone to Take Statin Drugs Regardless of Risk

2008-11-09     Sarah Palin Endorses Alaska Toilet Seat Law

2008-11-07     Michelle Obama Discovers Dress Makes Her Look Fat

2008-11-05     McCain Loses Election; Vows Revenge

2008-10-31     Mormon LDS Church Now Supports Gay Marriage

2008-10-28     Provincetown Police Crack Down on Gays

2008-10-28     Otsuka Pharmaceutical Develops More Potent Placebo

2008-10-26     Sarah Palin Gives Up Everything to Become Stay-At-Home Mom

2008-10-24     McCain Volunteer Beats Self to a Pulp

2008-10-23     Sarah Palin Admits Romantic Feelings for Angela Merkel

2008-10-20     Joe the Plumber Endorses Ron Paul

2008-10-17     Pope Benedict XVI to Replace Crucifix With Happy Face

2008-10-14     15-Year Old Girl Arrested for being Nude

2008-10-11     Fitness and Nutrition Experts Don't Live Longer Than Anyone Else, According to Study

2008-10-09     75% of Mammals Not in Danger of Extinction, According to EPA

2008-10-05     Americans Now Fleeing to Mexico

2008-10-03     Apple, Inc Recalls All iPhones Due to Alzheimer's link

2008-09-28     Bristol Blames Mom Sarah Palin for Pregnancy

2008-09-27     All but Two Nebraska Children in State Care

2008-09-26     McCain Solves U.S. Financial Crisis

2008-09-23     Palin Blames Polar Bears for Global Warming

2008-09-19     John McCain Expresses Sexual Desire for Eva Longoria Parker

2008-09-19     U.S. Declares Bankruptcy; China Offers Bailout

2008-09-14     Americans Now Healthier Thanks to Tainted Drinking Water

2008-09-12     McCain Admits Sarah Palin's Baby Trig is his Love Child

2008-09-11     Large Hadron Collider Set to annihilate Earth; Solar System

2008-09-05     Alaska Governor Sarah Palin Abandons Family to Become President

2008-09-03     Mice and Rabbits Living Longer, Healthier Lives

2008-09-01     Alaska Governor Sarah Palin Claims Daughter's Pregnancy Immaculately Conceived

2008-08-30     Alaska Governor Sarah Palin Admits to Masturbating

2008-08-24     U.S. Military Funding Crystal Ball Research

2008-08-22     Homeland Security Vows Crackdown on Satire

2008-08-18     U.S. Military Funding Science of Mind Reading

2008-08-13     People Searching Google for Nude Pictures of Miley Cyrus

2008-08-10     Scientists say Massive Asteroid to Destroy Earth Tomorrow

2008-08-08     Osteen's Wife Claims She Was Just Fondling Flight Attendant's Breasts

2008-08-03     McCain Vows to Eliminate Privacy to Control Crime and Terrorism

2008-08-01     Marijuana Substitute May Have Been Found

2008-07-30     McCain has Vietnam Flashback

2008-07-30     Former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales Working at Car Wash

2008-07-26     McCain Concedes Election to Obama

2008-07-24     Miley Cyrus Sells Herself; Clothes

2008-07-19     Bush Announces His Plan to Combat Illegal Immigrants and Terrorists

2008-07-12     Ann Coulter admits to performing Fellatio on Liberal

2008-07-11     Homeland Security Targets Satire Writer

2008-07-04     All Baseball Players May be Indicted for Steroid Abuse

2008-07-01     McCain Outlines Medical Plan for the Wealthy

2008-06-28     Bush Claims Global Climate Change "good for business"

2008-06-27     Obama donates $25 to Clinton's debt relief

2008-06-22     New Vermont Law Declares all Nudists Must Wear Hats

2008-06-20     Alabama Woman Endorses John McCain

2008-06-15     City of Ventura, CA Finding Creative Ways to Make Money*

2008-06-13     Iraqi Soldier Imprisoned for Killing Puppy

2008-06-08     Senator John McCain denies suffering from Alzheimer's

2008-06-08     Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Halle Berry and Rosie O'Donnell reveal weight-lose secrets

2008-06-04     McCain Seeks to Repeal First Amendment

2008-05-31     Senator John McCain Plans to Eliminate Poverty


Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.