Draft of Bush Iraq Speech Leaked
Unconfirmed Sources has received a draft copy of the Presidents remarks that he will deliver to a friendly crowd at Fort Bragg, N.C., home of the Army's 82nd Airborne Division. The speech titled, Kill More Faster, lays out the Bush teams two track approach to winning the Iraq War. In broad terms the plan is for American troops to kill more Iraqis and for Iraqi troops to kill more Iraqis.
"At a time like this, when it is a critical moment in Iraq, it is important for the president of the United States, to talk to the American people about the nature of the enemy that we face and show the way forward to victory in Iraq," said White house spokesman Ben Lion. "Americans want to know that we plan on killing a lot more Iraqis over there and spending a lot more money to do it. Americans will get behind the President when he reminds them that if we weren't fighting over there we might not be fighting anywhere."
The details of the plans are a little vague but the general outline is clear. American troops will keep killing Iraqis at a good clip and Iraqi troops are going to step up to the plate and kill increasing numbers of Iraqis until no more killing needs to be done. There have been several estimates about how long that much killing will take, between 2 and 12 years depending one who you talk to, but one thing is clear. A lot more Iraqis are going to killed before we can declare victory and leave.
"Its hard work… I know it's hard work killing that many people and spending that much money, but the brave fighting men and women of America can do it. And they need your support." Reads the draft speech. "911 was a horrible thing, Saddam is a horrible man and we can't let evil doers like him run loose… We aim to win this war no matter how many Iraqis we need to kill and no matter the ruinous financial and personal costs of this misadventure… I'm proud to say that we will accomplish this mission."
"I think this is just what the American people will need to hear. "says Washington watcher Tucker Carlson. "Americans want to be assured that American troops can kill more Iraqis faster than anybody else. Americans want to be proud of their Army and want to know that their President, despite all evidence to the contrary, knows what the hell he is doing."