Unconfirmed Sources Print Edition
by Chuck Terzella

Sunday Fashion Report: How About A Little Hair Of The Dog?

The Perfect Fashion Accessory

What do Andrew Marc, Tommy Hilfiger, Lord & Taylor, Bergdorf Goodman, Neiman Marcus, Donna Karen, Oscar de la Renta, Sean "Diddy" Combs and rapper Jay-Z have in common? That's right, they're all going to the dogs. Literally. If you've bought a fur trimmed coat or jacket from any of these top designers, as well as J C Penny and Burlington Coat Factory labeled as either fake fur or raccoon fur, chances are you got bit. According to the Humane Society, the practice of using dog hair as garment trim and mislabeling it as fake or raccoon fur is an, "industry wide deception". The practice and it's subsequent unmasking has now left designers scrambling to find cats, squirrels, weasels, ferrets and in extreme cases gerbils to replace the canine couture, but that last one is causing a particular uproar among designers in this Gay dominated business.

Despite the inherent creepiness of using man's best friend as trim for man's best trim, we at Unconfirmed Sources believe the fashion industry may have actually stumbled on a great idea...with slight modifications, this is. The problem is not using dogs, it's using strange dogs. For years, bereaved pet owners have been looking for ways to immortalize their beloved pets, canine and feline both. Pet cemeteries, crematories, even stuffing Fluffy and Rex have all had their place. But the fashionista's from Far East have given us a much better option: when your little pal is panting their last, bring him or her to say, Bergdorf Goodman, try on a few jackets and when you find something you like, have them skin your little buddy (wait till after they're dead, please, something that isn't always happening now) and use them to trim your new garment. What better way to show how much you love your dead dog than to disembowel his warm corpse, flay the very skin from it's body and sew his old coat to your new one? If that ain't love, we don't know what is.

Surprisingly, J.C. Penny seems to be ahead of the curve on this one; while all the other designers and retailers immediately pulled the pooch trimmed ponchos and such from their shelves, J.C. Penny, seeing the potential and loath to waste a weimaraner, simply had it's sales staff scratch out the word raccoon on the labels with magic marker and hang the terrier trimmed top coats right back up on the racks. Waste not, want not.

So, if you lover's Labrador has licked it's last, if your baby's Bichon has lost it's bite or her Keeshond is kaput, what better way to show you care than using them as a fashion accessory? By the way, I've got a couple of old Shelties that would make a sweet shawl. Please forward your bids to this website.



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