George W. Bush Sets Date for Victory in Iraq
(Washington : Ucs News) President George W. Bush has set a date certain for Victory in Iraq. According to the President, "victory will be ours on June 2nd of 2008."
While the President was promising to veto the Democrats' Iraq spending bill, he let slip the secret date for the end of the war. The gathered press were surprised at the leak and quickly demanded to know why the wars end date was being kept secret.
Unconfirmed Sources inside the White House detailed how the Administration is negotiating with Fox News and Congressional Republicans to end the war. The date of June 2nd, 2008, is planned to avoid conflicts with the American Idol schedule and Bill O'Reilly's yearly sex tour in Thailand.
The planned "victory event" will be orchestrated by Fox News under the direction of Karl Roves' office. Several CIA sponsored Iraqi militias will agree to lay down their arms, while Fox News under reports the daily death tolls.
This gives the President an opening to declare victory from the air conditioned comfort of his Crawford Texas Ranch.