Unconfirmed Sources Print Edition
by Walid

Rudy Giuliani to Campaign on Sacred Pile of Smoking 911 Rubble

Giuliani's 911 rubble stage. Tacky or Holy?(Washinton : Ucs News) Republican Presidential candidate and former Mayer of New York Rudy Giuliani has ordered a stage constructed of holy 911 rubble. According to the Giuliani campaign "The stage will be used to create drama and will allow viewers to relive the events of 911 every time Rudy gives a speech."

Giuliani will travel with the stage and use the sacred rubble as a centerpiece of his "911 for the Nation Campaign" for President. According to Giuliani's campaign manager the sacred rubble stage will be used to remind people of the great things Rudy did for New York and the nation that day, He also stated "It's really not as tasteless as it sounds."

According to sources inside the campaign, the 911 sacred rubble stage will be 40 long and 15 feet high and will feature a tattered American flag and automatic smoke machines. The plans also call for the 38 ton rubble stage to fold down into standard 40 foot shipping container for transport to campaign events via flatbed semi trailer.

For indoor events the Giuliani campaign has commissioned a 50 by 80 foot banner depicting the scene of 911 and a lectern constructed of burnt and bent World Trade Center beams.

Some have called the sacred rubble stage a portable monument to freedom while others consider it sacrilege to the memory of those lost.

A Giulaini Campaign Spokesman defended the holy 911 rubble stage. "If the 911 rubble stage is a shameless exploitation of the tragedy then so is the entire Giulaini Presidential campaign!"

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