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Elections

John Kerry Better Win Big or Republicans Will Steal The Election!

October 24, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that Republican operatives have put the finishing touches on their post-election plan to steal the election. Our sources from within the White House indicate Republicans think they can swing the election two [Read more]

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National News

Bill Clinton Presidential Library Set to Open

October 24, 2004 Staff

Documents from the Clinton Era White House have found a home at the new Clinton presidential library in downtown Little Rock, Arkansas, having been moved from their storage area in an old car dealership in [Read more]

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Elections

Kerry Attacks Bush… Physically

October 22, 2004 Staff

Democratic Presidential hopeful John F. Kerry has attacked George Bush once again…but this time physically. The Massachusetts Senator, who in the past has attacked the Presidents policies on Iraq, education, health care, employment and the [Read more]

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National News

World Series Delayed as Yankees Challenge Red Sox Victory Before Supreme Court!

October 22, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report the World Series will be delayed until the Supreme Court hears a challenge brought by the New York Yankees brought against the Boston Red Sox. All of baseball and the world is [Read more]

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Elections

Hamid Karzai Elected President of the United States: Bush, Kerry Shocked

October 21, 2004 Staff

In a bizarre twist, Afghanistan Interim President Hamid Karzai has been elected President of the United States. The news is all the more stunning because the American Elections were not scheduled to take place until [Read more]

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Elections

Punk band manage to get Bush voted out

October 21, 2004 Staff

Known for controversial songs such as “Stars and Stripes,” “Die For Your Government,” and “Turncoat,” Philadelphia punk band Anti-flag managed to single-handedly get President George W. Bush voted out of office. “Wow, we didn’t realize [Read more]

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National News

Lawsuit Exposes Bill O'Reily's Kinky Obsession With Falafel and Andrea Mackris!

October 20, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that Bill O’Reily’s use of falafel as an aphrodisiac has caused a run on the tasty Middle Eastern food. Middle Eastern eateries worldwide have been overwhelmed by the increase of people wanting [Read more]

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Elections

George W. Bush Says Iraq Troops Will Get Everything They Need: Troops Laugh

October 20, 2004 Staff

President George W. Bush, speaking from the campaign trail, has once again assured voters that Troops in Iraq will get all the equipment and supplies they need to “finish the job”. Speaking to a carefully [Read more]