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World News

CNN follows FOX's Lead, Opens News Bureau in Alternate Reality!

October 6, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that CNN has opened a new news bureau in the nearby alternate reality known as Happybushlandia. The new office and staff was transported to Happybushlandia several days ago. The team should be [Read more]

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Elections

Edwards/ Cheney Debate: Audience Awards Edwards 82.5 Million for Pain and Suffering.

October 6, 2004 Staff

Vice Presidential candidate Senator John Edwards met Republican Vice President Dick (Dick) Cheney in the only Vice Presidential debate of this election cycle. After watching Senator Edwards being forced to listen to Dick (Dick) Cheney [Read more]

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National News

Philip Morris sponsors 'Start and Win' contest

October 5, 2004 Staff

New York, New York-Tobacco company Philip Morris announced yesterday the unveiling of a new ‘Start and Win’ contest. The contest, tentatively set to run for an indefinite amount of time, will encourage non-smokers to try [Read more]

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Elections

Dick Cheney Unmasked Before Debate! It's Worse Than We Ever Imagined!

October 5, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmedsources report that Dick Cheney will be forced to remove his mask for the Vice Presidential debate. In an amazing turn of events the Democratic debate negotiating team scored a major coup going into the [Read more]

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World News

Rumsfeld Makes It Clear It's Confusing

October 5, 2004 Staff

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, in an apparent effort to confuse America’s enemies and allies abroad, not to mention Americans at home, has reversed himself yet again. During the last two years Mr. Rumsfeld has [Read more]

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Elections

Dick Cheney Withdraws from Race: Endorses John Kerry

October 4, 2004 Staff

Vice President Dick (Dick) Cheney has withdrawn as George W. Bush’s running mate in the Presidential Race, citing the President’s and his differing views on Gay Marriage and the fact that Mr. Bush is “really [Read more]

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National News

Creationist I.D.I.O.T.S. Take a Licking…From a Dog!

October 3, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report a major set back for the Discovery Institute and it’s fight to reintroduce the creation myth back into American schools. In a show trial staged for the benefit of the Ohio school [Read more]

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Elections

Bush Blasts Administration Policies!

October 3, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that President Bush’s new campaign stump speech includes harsh criticism of administration policies. The new speech, which contains attacks on domestic and foreign policy, is tailored to appeal to swing voters in [Read more]

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Elections

Republican Spin Machine Breaks Down: George W. Bush is Spitting Mad!

October 2, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that the spin machine used by the Republican party has broken down. The Spin-O-Matic Model 2000 broke down during the first presidential debate leaving Bush unable to win the debate. Insiders say [Read more]