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Celebrity News

Britney Spears Calls for Violent Revolution in Ukraine

November 30, 2004 Staff

A massive pro-democracy concert sponsored by Pepsi Co. to take place in the troubled nation of Ukraine next month may be cancelled owing to protests by the government over statements by the concert’s headliner, Britney [Read more]

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World News

Yassir Arafat and Ariel Sharon Have Been Nominated For A Joint Nobel Peace Prize!

November 29, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that Yassir Arafat and Ariel Sharon been nominated for a Joint Nobel Peace prize for ostensibly “dieing at the best possible moment.” The Nobel Prize committee is said to be waiting till [Read more]

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National News

Kenneth Lay Beheaded by Zacarias Moussaoui

November 29, 2004 Staff

A video tape showing the beheading murder of Kenneth Lay was delivered to the offices of Unconfirmed Sources yesterday and has since been confiscated by the FBI. The tape shows a masked man identifying himself [Read more]

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Business News

Sears and Kmart Try To Corner The Failing Retail Stores Market!

November 28, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that Sears and Kmart officials are making a concerted effort to corner the Failing Retail Stores market. Retail experts are shocked by the boldness of the plan. If the newly merged company [Read more]

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World News

Viktor Yushchenko to George W. Bush: Don't Help Me, Please.

November 27, 2004 Staff

In an attempt to add validity to his claims of voter fraud in last weeks Ukrainian Presidential Elections, Opposition Leader Viktor Yushchenko has asked George W. Bush to stop giving him his support. Yushchenko, apparently [Read more]

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Elections

Democrats Vow to Pay More Attention to Political Concerns of Idiots

November 26, 2004 Staff

Confronted with a chart of relative IQ’s of blue and red states in the recent elections, the leadership of the Democratic party said recently that they were forced to reevaluate their assumptions about the constituency [Read more]

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National News

President Bush Unwraps Faith Based Environmental Protection Program

November 26, 2004 Staff

Calling environmentally concerned scientists “a bunch of atheists who don’t trust the Lord to look after his own creation,” President George Bush announced the “Uncloudy Skies Act” which emphasizes prayer and church attendance over economically [Read more]

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Iraq

"Can We Rebuild Iraq? Yes We Can!" says Bob The Builder!

November 26, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that Bob The Builder will be heading up the reconstruction of Iraq. The Bush administration has been under growing international pressure to get things moving in Iraq. Bringing in Bob The Builder [Read more]