No Picture
National News

NFL Super Bowl Halftime Show Will Feature Four Nuns Playing Canasta!

January 31, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that the NFL has decided not to risk a repeat of last year’s Super Bowl breast debacle and has opted for a more wholesome show. The Halftime Show will feature a local [Read more]

No Picture
National News

Unconfirmed Sources News Briefs: January 31, 2005

January 30, 2005 Staff

Cooking Up A Foreign Policy: George Bush Prepares Rice for Turkey. Condoleezza Rice, fresh off the most contentious Secretary of State nomination process since Henry Clay’s in 1825, is planning a whirlwind trip to Europe [Read more]

No Picture
World News

2.2 Million Sudanese apply for Indonesian Citizenship: Jakarta Says No Way

January 29, 2005 Staff

(Authors Note: When this piece was first posted I used a photo of a fly ridden Sudanese child, then the next day switched it to the current smiling Thai child. In roughly the same time [Read more]

No Picture
The President

George W. Bush Unveils His Plan To Save Social Security: Old People Will be Required To Kill The…

January 28, 2005 Staff

President George W. Bush has unveiled his novel plan to fix Social Security and Healthcare in the United States. The President was quoted as saying, ” The plan is very simple. First, now that all [Read more]

No Picture
Washington

New Alberto Gonzales Terror Memo: "Don't Get Caught, Ya Big Dummies!"

January 26, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources has received yet another terror memo written by our Attorney General to be Alberto Gonzales. The memo titled “Don’t Get Caught” explains in detail the importance of not torturing Americans on American soil, [Read more]

No Picture
National News

The Bush Adminstration Demands Eighty Billion Dollars More To Cover Iraq's Weekly Expenses

January 25, 2005 Staff

United States President George W. Bush asked Congress today for an additional eighty billion dollars to fund the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Democrats in Congress and the Senate have demanded an accurate accounting from [Read more]

No Picture
National News

George W. Bush First Phones Terrorist Group, Then Pro Life Group- Couldn't Tell The Difference

January 24, 2005 Staff

President George W. Bush may have committed the first faux pas of his new Administration. Mr. Bush, while attempting to phone a right to life rally being held in Washington DC inadvertently phoned a Islamic [Read more]

No Picture
National News

BGM-109 Tomahawk Cruise missile to join US State Department.

January 24, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources reports the BGM-109 Tomahawk Cruise missile system made by Raytheon will be named as the assistant secretary of state. Former National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice stated during her Senate confirmation hearing, that she [Read more]