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Iraq

Master Yoda speaks: Iraqi insurgents using 'The Force' , Guantanamo Bay 'Gulag'

May 31, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmedsources report the 600 year old Jedi Master Yoda is troubled by the situation on the ground in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay Cuba. Speaking before a combined session of the United Nations and the Imperial [Read more]

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Iraq

Scrapbooking Popular Among Iraqi Insurgents

May 29, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that scrapbooking has become a popular past time for members of the Iraqi insurgency. US military sources indicate that Iraqi scrapbooks have been turning up during raids more and more. The Iraqi [Read more]

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World News

Geezer Sex, Viagra, and Pre-Marital Sex Cause Blindness, Duh!

May 28, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report the GCMA has released a study linking certain sexual activities to blindness. The Good Christian Mothers Association report titled “The Dangers of Sex” found that many sexual activities once considered safe are [Read more]

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Washington

Department of Home Land Security Declares Washington D.C. "Irony Free Zone"

May 26, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that Department of Home Land Security Chief Michael Chertoff has banned the use of irony in the D.C. area until further notice. Chertoff acted quickly to head off a massive wave of [Read more]

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National News

George W. Bush plans to Veto and Pray : Korea leads life saving stem cell research

May 24, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmedsources report the Bush administration will veto a House bill to fund stem cell research. The Presdient under preasure from his own Repulican party will take other actions to boost the development of life saving [Read more]

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National News

George W. Bush Fires Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld Over Leaked Saddam Pictures

May 22, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that The President has fired his long time friend and advisor Donald Rumsfeld. Secretary Rumsfeld was fired late yesterday during a stormy meeting at the White House. The President was reportedly very [Read more]

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Iraq

Newsweek Shatters Bond of Trust Between George W. Bush and Arab World

May 20, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that Newsweek magazine’s careless reporting of the facts surrounding torture at Guantanamo Bay has wrecked American Arab relations. Last week Newsweek magazine broke and later retracted a story about American servicemen defacing [Read more]

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National News

Senator Bill Frist is proud: Massengill to introduce Republican douche bags

May 17, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report Tennessee Senator Dr. Bill Frist and Rev. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, will be the first fragrances in a new line of douche bags. Internal memos leaked to Unconfirmed [Read more]