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The President

George W. Bush Signs Quran Protection Act and Blasts Newsweek

May 17, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that President Bush signed the Quran Protection Act and held a brief press conference early this morning. The President signed the bill, answered a few prescreened questions then lit into Newsweek for [Read more]

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Iraq

More Good News From Iraq: American Torture Chambers Much Better than Saddam's

May 15, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that a recent study by the Red Crescent found that American torture chambers are much better than those run by Saddam Hussein before the second Iraq war. The study conducted in Iraq [Read more]

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National News

Jackson trial Shocker! : "Tennessee Senator Bill Frist Filibustered Bubbles the Monkey!"

May 14, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmedsources report Michael Jackson’s defense team to plead emotional distress. Today trial lawyers in the Jackson case unveiled the core of their defense strategy. Lead Jackson defense attorney Thomas Mesereau Jr. filed papers today claiming [Read more]

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National News

Armani Launches New Rally-Wear Line

May 12, 2005 Staff

Italian couturier Giorgio Armani has decided to launch a new clothing line specifically for protests and rallies. The designer, whose other collections include ready-to-wear, eye wear, fragrances, and home accessories, was inspired by the clothes [Read more]

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National News

Bush Administration Takes Credit For "Curbing" Gang Violence

May 12, 2005 Staff

Major metropolitan and urban areas have been recording a consistent decline in gang activities during the last six months. At first considered to be an aberration, it has now been ascertained that the precipitous drop [Read more]

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National News

George W. Bush admits "Yes! I looted Social Security, But I gave the money to the rich…."

May 4, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmedsources report the president made the remarks to the Saudi Royal Prince during his stay at the White House. During a seven course lunch the two leaders were comparing the merits of being a royal [Read more]

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National News

Evangelical Sex, No More Wars and Hymen Occupied: Unconfirmed Sources News Briefs, May 4, 2005

May 3, 2005 Staff

What If They Gave A War And We Couldn’t Come?: Retiring Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Richard Meyers has admitted that the occupations of Iraq and Afghanistan has significantly reduced the capacity [Read more]

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National News

Italian Bigotry Exposed in Checkpoint Shooting

May 3, 2005 Staff

An Italian government investigation into the shooting death of agent Nicola Calipari and the wounding of freed hostage journalist Giuliana Sgrena has sharply disagreed with an American military report regarding the same incident. While the [Read more]

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National News

Porter Goss Reveals the Osamalogues

May 2, 2005 Staff

(Washington-DC) Have Al Qaeda’s tactics to disembowel the Great Satan turned to breaking its funny bone? That’s the question a recently declassified document found in Afghanistan raised when it was revealed at a CIA press [Read more]

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National News

The Runaway Bride, Dead Italians and Social Security: Unconfirmed Sources News Briefs- May 1. 2005

May 1, 2005 Staff

Missing Georgia Woman Found, Still No Weapons of Mass Destruction: Jennifer Wilbanks, a 32 year old bride to be who was reportedly distraught that President George W. Bush’s search for Weapons of Mass Destruction has [Read more]