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National News

Doctors At Bethesda Naval Hospital Find Worrying Anomaly During George W. Bush Physical

July 31, 2005 Staff

United States President George W. Bush traveled to Bethesda Naval Hospital for his annual physical examination. Happily for Americans and the Free World, whose citizens had been holding candle light vigils for the last week, [Read more]

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National News

World Welcomes Bush's Recess Appointment of John Bolton to The United Nations

July 30, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that the Bush administration has thwarted the will of the Senate and given John Bolton a recess appointment to be the US ambassador to the United Nations. The news of Bolton’s appointment [Read more]

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National News

Nasa recalls Shuttle Discovery from orbit: Safety questioned

July 29, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources inside Nasa report the agency will recall Discovery cutting short it’s mission to the International Space Station. The action will be taken in light of the failure of safety systems that caused the [Read more]

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National News

Great White Shark Lunches on Mythbusters Host Jamie Hyneman

July 28, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week programming will be cut short this year as guest host Jamie Hyneman has been bitten by a great white shark. The incident occurred yesterday during the [Read more]

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National News

Ranchers Use Sensitivity Training to Fight Mad Cow Disease

July 27, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that the use of sensitivity training by US cattle ranchers has reduced the threat of Mad Cow disease. Scientists from the USDA and a small group of ranchers have been working on [Read more]

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National News

On Surprise Visit To Iraq, Donald Rumsfeld Kidnapped By Insurgents, Immediately Given Back.

July 26, 2005 Staff

United States Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld made a surprise visit to Baghdad to urge the leaders of the fledgling Iraqi Government to refrain from developing closer ties to it’s neighbors Syria and Iran. Unfortunately [Read more]

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Washington

White House Quietly Launches Karl Rove Legal Defense Fund

July 26, 2005 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that The White House has quietly started a legal defense fund for Bush senior aid Karl Rove. The fund titled “The Traitor’s Fund” will be used to provide legal services for Rove [Read more]