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Comedian and Right-Wing Pundit Stephen Colbert Arrested

April 30, 2006 Staff

CLICK TO ENLARGE Washington, DC (APE) – Comedian Stephen Colbert was taken into custody early this morning by Department of Homeland security officials. Colbert will be charged with leaking sensitive government information according to a [Read more]

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Prostitute Comes Forward Confirming Rumors of Republican and CIA Involvement in Duke Cunningham S…

April 30, 2006 Staff

Washington, DC (Rotters) – A Washington, DC area prostitute has come forwards lending credence to the allegations of CIA officials’ involvements in wild poker parties and prostitution exchanged in favors for legislation. The prostitute who [Read more]

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Tom Cruise Converts From Scientology To Existentialism

April 28, 2006 Staff

(Los Angeles–CA) Who was that little man coming out of a Starbucks on Wilshire Boulevard wearing a beret and shouting lines from Jean Paul Sartre’s play “No Exit” mixed with profanity at 2PM Thursday? According [Read more]

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Bush Rushed to New Orleans Hospital after Photo-Op Accident

April 27, 2006 Staff

New Orleans, LA (APE) – President Bush was rushed to a New Orleans hospital after being hit in the eye with a pen tossed to him to autograph a volunteer worker’s mailbox. Upon finding that [Read more]

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Cheney Indictment Remains Sealed, Rove Apparently Rolls

April 26, 2006 Staff

Washington, DC (Rotters) – Early this morning, Vice President Dick Cheney was removed from his undisclosed location and taken to another undisclosed federal location for booking and processing. Federal marshals refused to comment on the [Read more]

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Tom Cruise Diagnosed with Postpartum Depression

April 26, 2006 Staff

Paris, France (O! Online) – Tom Cruise skipped a “Mission Impossible: III” news conference and promotional appearances yesterday to go on a day long spending spree in France ostensibly in search of new outfits for [Read more]

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Tony Snow Out Jeff Gannon In as White House Press Secretary

April 25, 2006 Staff

Washington, DC (APE) – in a stunning move today it was announced that the anticipated replacement of outgoing press secretary Scott McClellan with Fox TV news commentator Tony Snow had been scrubbed. The White House [Read more]

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White House Introduces Its Version of Monopoly: Iraqopoly

April 25, 2006 Staff

(Washington, D.C.) It’s not Uncle Pennybags but Uncle Sam who will be the central figure in The White House version of Monopoly. Iraqopoly will be making its debut in time for the 2006 holiday season, [Read more]

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Bush Touts Immigration As the American Dream

April 24, 2006 Staff

Irvine, CA (APE) – President Bush on Monday spoke to a largely conservative Republican group of 450 members of the Orange County business Council and in a “lemonade out of lemons” fashion seemed to back [Read more]

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Bin Laden Pledges Continued War on US as Race for the World's Most Hated Man Heats Up

April 23, 2006 Staff

Washington, DC (Rotters) – The CIA yesterday confirmed that an audio tape issued by Al-Jazeera did indeed likely contain the voice of Osama Bin Laden. In it, he condemned the US for its refusal to [Read more]