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National News

Bush Presents Koizumi with Velvet Elvis as Gift after Visit to Graceland

June 30, 2006 Staff

Memphis, TN (APE) – President Bush concluded Japanese prime minister Junichiro Koizumi’s visit to Graceland yesterday by presenting the Elvis fan with another piece of American iconoclastic culture, a huge “Velvet Elvis”. Koizumi was moved [Read more]

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National News

New study: High IQ linked with sedition and 'terrorist' leanings

June 29, 2006 Staff

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The results of a U.S. Department of Homeland Security commissioned study are now in. The study, which relied upon information collected from Johns Hopkins University anthropology graduate students and professors, concludes that [Read more]

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Ed-E-torial

George Bush on New York Times Finance Leak: "This is why I don't read."

June 29, 2006 Staff

Summer Reading–The Impossible Book (Washington, D.C.) “The President did not say, ‘The first time I read in 20 years, and I see this! This is why I don’t read.’ I assure you the President reads. [Read more]

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National News

Britney Threatens Harper's with Lawsuit after Nude Cover Bumped by Rice

June 28, 2006 Staff

New York (APE) – Teen idol Britney Spears threatened the publishers of Harper’s Bazaar with a multi-million dollar lawsuit today when it was revealed that her controversial pregnant nude cover and spread was being bumped [Read more]

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National News

White House Issues Warrant For New York Times Arrest On Treason Charges

June 28, 2006 Staff

In a surprise move, United States President George W. Bush has directed Justice Department head Alberto (Speedy) Gonzales to issue a warrant for the arrest of the entire New York Times newspaper for treason. The [Read more]

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National News

Kidman/Urban Secret Honeymoon Destination Discovered and Targeted by Lone Paparazzi

June 27, 2006 Staff

Baghdad, Iraq (O! Online) – Newlyweds Nicole Kidman and the Keith Urban had their secret honeymoon plans in the US military Green Zone in Baghdad dashed by a lone paparazzi. The couple had planned to [Read more]

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National News

Republicans Savage Iraq War Commander General 'Cut and Run' Casey.

June 27, 2006 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that Republican law makers and others have called General George Casey, the U.S. commander in Iraq, a ‘cut and run coward’ after he proposed a program of phased troop withdrawals from the [Read more]

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National News

George Bush To Democrats: "You Cut And Run, I Declare Victory!"

June 27, 2006 Staff

Once again, Congressional Democrats have found themselves totally out of the loop when it comes to the war in Iraq. A week after being rightly labeled as cowards and terrorist lovers for putting forth two [Read more]

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National News

Rush Limbaugh Broadcasts Live from Lock-up in Palm Beach County Florida

June 26, 2006 Staff

West Palm Beach , FL (APE) – Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was detained tonight by US Customs officials for possessing prescription drugs without a legitimate prescription. Limbaugh was found to be carrying a [Read more]