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National News

Conrad Burns Denies involvement in Mark Foley Underage Sex Scandal

September 30, 2006 Staff

(Washington D.C.) Ucs News In the wake of Republican congressmen’s Mark Foleys resignation Montana Senator Conrad Burns claims to have no knowledge of the affair. During a closed door meeting of his campaign staff Senator [Read more]

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National News

Florida Representative Foley Arrested on Return to Palm Beach

September 30, 2006 Staff

Palm Beach, FL (Rotters) – Florida Congressional Representative Mark Foley was arrested by federal authorities upon his return to his home district in Palm Beach Florida, late last night. He has been charged as a [Read more]

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National News

Virginia Senator George Allen admits College Prank "was in poor taste."

September 29, 2006 Staff

Washington, DC (Ucs News) Unconfirmed Sources report the embattled and embarrassed Republican Senator George Allen has apologized for the offending prank. In what appears to be a dramatic reversal in strategy of his campaign, Senator [Read more]

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Ed-E-torial

Ed-E-torial #5: George Bush and Homey Vladimir Putin, A Hunting Cheney Goes and Vioxx Still Kills!

September 28, 2006 Staff

(New York–NY) Welcome Dear Friends and Respected Enemies and, yes, you too George Bush. It’s Ed-E-torial #5. Or as we like to call it: “The one where Ed admits his dark secret.” Ed-E-torial #5: George [Read more]

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National News

White House Pronounces Musharraf, Karzai, Bush Dinner Meeting a Success

September 27, 2006 Staff

CLICK TO ENLARGE Washington, DC (APE) – Billed as an event that might have descended into international slapstick, the White House today announced that President Bush’s dinner meeting last night with Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai [Read more]

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National News

Afghanistan Declares War On Iraq: George W. Bush Orders United States To Fight Itself.

September 27, 2006 Staff

The War on Terror suffered another blow yesterday…several blows in fact. United States President George W. Bush had invited Afghani President Hamid Karzai and Pakistani President Gen. Pervez Musharraf to a private ‘fence mending’ dinner [Read more]

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National News

Cheney Wrests Control from Bush in Bloodless Coup over Concerns of Rampant Defeatism

September 26, 2006 Staff

Washington, DC (APE) – The United States of America early this morning, became the second democracy to fall victim to a bloodless coup in the past month, following closely in the footsteps of the military [Read more]

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National News

Allen Campaign Pushes Back Aggressively against Racism Charges

September 25, 2006 Staff

Washington, DC (Rotters) – In what appears to be a dramatic reversal in strategy from the George Allen Senatorial reelection campaign, Senator Allen, this morning stepped forwards and admitted that he had indeed used the [Read more]

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National News

Bin Laden Niece Demands Access to His CIA Pension Plan

September 25, 2006 Staff

New York, NY (APE) – CNN news is reporting, in an exclusive interview, that singer-songwriter Wafa Dufor, the niece of Al Qaeda head Osama Bin Laden is demanding that the CIA grant her access to [Read more]

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National News

Kids Warning finally heeded "Spinach is Bad."

September 25, 2006 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that kids have always known better. For years, adults have ignored the warnings of children worldwide. This week it was proven, once and for all, that spinach is bad. The children of [Read more]