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National News

BUSH APPOINTS WOLFOWITZ MAYOR OF BAGHDAD

May 31, 2007 Staff

Washington — At a hearing of the U.S.House of Representatives yesterday, a North Carolina member, Rep.Walter Jones (R) NC, proposed a solution to “end the hopeless involvement in Iraq in which we find ourselves.” ” [Read more]

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Ed-E-torial

Ed-E-torial Number 14: Britney Spears Meets Elvis. Karl Rove Outs The Bush Twins. German Antisemi…

May 31, 2007 Staff

(New York–NY) Welcome Dear Friends and Respected Enemies and, yes, you too George Bush. It’s Ed-E-torial #14. Or as we like to call it: “The one where we introduce you to the REAL man behind [Read more]

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National News

Apple Responds to Microsoft Surface Coffeetable PC with ctBook

May 31, 2007 Staff

Cupertino, CA (APE) – Not to be outdone, Apple CEO Steven Jobs today unveiled the new apple ctBook computer, or coffee table book computer. Apple’s announcement comes on the heels of Microsoft’s rollout of its [Read more]

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National News

Limbaugh Denies Involvement in Alleged Lohan OxyContin Addiction

May 31, 2007 Staff

Hollywood, CA (O! Online) – Right-wing radio pundit Rush Limbaugh late today stepped forward to deny accusations of involvement in screen actress Lindsay Lohan’s newly revealed alleged addiction to OxyContin. The charges were brought in [Read more]

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National News

Whales Reappear Briefly off Golden Gate Bridge

May 30, 2007 Staff

San Francisco, CA (Rotters) – Californians and environmental activists watched in stunned silence as the humpback whales Delta and Dawn reappeared briefly just outside the San Francisco Bay in view of the Golden Gate Bridge, [Read more]

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National News

BUSH OK'S SECRET INVASION OF IRAN TO COUNTERACT THEIR SECRET INVASION OF IRAQ

May 30, 2007 Staff

Unconfirmed Sources has obtained a top secret letter from President Bush to General Patraeus authorizing destabilization of Iran. BY CYRYPTO CLASSIFIED SCRAMBLED FAX Message ID RTy7783G To: General David Patreus From: PREUS 30 May 2007 [Read more]

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National News

BUSH OK'S SECRET INVASION OF IRAN TO COUNTERACT THEIR SECRET INVASION OF IRAQ

May 30, 2007 Staff

Unconfirmed Sources has obtained a top secret letter from President Bush to General Patraeus authorizing destabilization of Iran. BY CYRYPTO CLASSIFIED SCRAMBLED FAX Message ID RTy7783G To: General David Patreus From: PREUS 30 May 2007 [Read more]

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National News

Rudy Giuliani's Healthcare Plan : Kill International Terrorists

May 30, 2007 Staff

(Washington : Ucs News) Republican Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani took time off from retelling the story of 9/11 to explain the details of his healthcare plan. Speaking to Iowa farmers Giuliani stated “I will make [Read more]

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National News

Rudy Giuliani to Campaign on Sacred Pile of Smoking 911 Rubble

May 30, 2007 Staff

(Washinton : Ucs News) Republican Presidential candidate and former Mayer of New York Rudy Giuliani has ordered a stage constructed of holy 911 rubble. According to the Giuliani campaign “The stage will be used to [Read more]