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  • [ January 12, 2019 ] Mitch McConnell has gone Missing! National News
  • [ January 2, 2019 ] Trump Co-Conspirators Quiz The President

Month: May 2007

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National News

Vast New Oilfield Discovered in Darfur, Bush Seeks Sanctions on Sudan

May 30, 2007 Staff

Washington, DC (APE) – President Bush today reversed a four year administration policy in regards to the government of Sudan by officially recognizing what it considered to be government endorsed genocide in the western Darfur [Read more]

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Iraq

George W. Bush Demands progress in Iraq : Threatens Invasion

May 28, 2007 Staff

(Camp David : Ucs News) Speaking from his vacation camp U.S. President Bush demanded the Maliki government make progress in Iraq. Following his harsh criticism the President stated “All military options are on the table”. [Read more]

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Iraq

Memorial Holiday Extended Due to Surge in Iraq War Casualties

May 28, 2007 Staff

(Ucs News : Washington) Administration officials have decided to increase the U.S. Memorial day holiday by two days. According to sources inside the Pentagon, the additional days are required to properly celebrate the ongoing sacrifices [Read more]

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Celebrity News

Lindsay Lohan Dies in police custody

May 27, 2007 Staff

(Ucs News : Beverly Hills) Beverly Hills Police stated Lohan was resisting arrest and assaulted the officers. Lohan was then pepper sprayed and subdued with hand cuffs. Shortly after she suffered respiratory arrest and was [Read more]

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National News

FAITHFUL MAKE PILGRIMAGE INTO SEWER TO VIEW IMAGE

May 27, 2007 Staff

Detroit MI — Detroit sanitation department worker Tomas Gomez could hardly contain himself, as he emerged from a downtown Detroit sewer manhole he was cleaning yesterday. Visibly shaken and crossing himself, he shouted to fellow [Read more]

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National News

Jerry Falwell demands gays and lesbians be ejected from heaven

May 27, 2007 Staff

(Ucs News) Unconfirmed Sources report the recently deceased Rev. Jerry Falwell is already causing a ruckus in the kingdom of heaven. The Reverend Falwell, well know for his outspoken apposition to homosexuals is demanding that [Read more]

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National News

BUSH >"GLOBAL WARMING IS B.S.!"

May 26, 2007 Staff

WASHINGTON, May 25 – The United States has rejected Germany’s proposal for deep long-term cuts in greenhouse gas emissions, setting the stage for a battle that will pit President Bush against his European allies at [Read more]

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National News

Osama Bin Laden Killed in jet ski accident

May 26, 2007 Staff

HUNTINGTON, West Virginia (UCS News) – International terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden has died in an Ohio River jet ski incident. Osama Bin Laden was riding a jet ski and was struck by a 20-foot [Read more]

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National News

Rudy Giuliani injured in Kite Surfing Accident

May 26, 2007 Staff

(Ucs News : International) Republican Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani is currently resting comfortably in a New York City hospital following a freak accident. The Former Mayor of New York was injured in a crash while [Read more]

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National News

Bush Warns of Bloody Summer for Reporters' Children

May 25, 2007 Staff

Washington, DC (Rotters) – President Bush, at a press conference yesterday in the White House Rose Garden, warned contentious reporters of a bloody summer in store for their children. Bristling at tough questions in regard [Read more]

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All RIghts Reserved. Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.