WASHINGTON, D.C.–Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was disappointed to learn in a phone call from Ben Bernanke that he lacks the power to appoint Roland Burris to the U.S. Senate. This is because the Federal Reserve [Read more]
Despite a group of breast-feeding moms protesting outside their offices, Facebook officials remain unrelenting in their ban on visual depictions of nipples and areolas. “Nipples have a certain suggestive sexual quality”, said Facebook CEO Mark [Read more]
Red-faced U.S. Air Force officials admitted today that they accidentally shot down Santa Claus’ sleigh and severely injured Santa and most of the reindeer as the sleigh hovered over a field near Edwards Air Force [Read more]
(Washington, D.C.) In an effort to improve America’s image abroad, President elect Barack Obama announced today that he will appoint Paris Hilton to the newly formed cabinet position of Secretary of the Exterior. Obama stated [Read more]
NEW YORK (Unconfirmed Sources.com ) — President-elect Barack Obama named key members of his administration’s economic team Monday, including New York Federal Reserve President Timothy Geithner, Lawrence Summers and Briteny Spears as the director of [Read more]
CHICAGO, Illinois (Ucs News) — Embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich vowed Friday to make himself and Illinois the laughing stock of the nation while fighting federal corruption charges. Despite calls for his resignation amid allegations [Read more]
Embattled U.S. President George W. Bush may turn out to be the biggest mass murderer in the history of the world as a U.S. District Grand Jury has voted to try him for the unnecessary [Read more]
Kristopher Kringle, aka Santa Claus, was arrested yesterday by agents of the SEC at his home in the North Pole. The arrest comes just days before Christmas, the day traditionally Mr. Kringle issues his Claus [Read more]
(Ucs News Wire Service) The US federal trade commission has launched a full scale inspection of all incoming shipments of Chinese Lead. A tip from a major lead importer called attention to what one investigator [Read more]
Outgoing U.S. President George W. Bush proudly announced today that the United States has won the war on drugs and all illegal drugs have been eliminated from the country. “None of our efforts have been [Read more]
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