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National News

Sock, Dryer Manufacturers Reach Agreement

May 31, 2009 Staff

After months of bickering, major manufacturers and distributors of socks reached an agreement with major clothes dryer makers over the commission percentage of socks eaten by dryers. “We are indispensable to the sock industry”, said [Read more]

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National News

E-E-T: Southwest Bags Children, Michael Bloomberg Apologizes (Kind Of) And Google Waves

May 29, 2009 Staff

(Washington, D.C.) The U.S. economy shrank to a 5.7 percent annual pace in the first quarter of 2009, ending its worst drop in five decades due to declines in housing, inventories and business investments. However, [Read more]

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Provincetown, MA Judge Bans Private Nudity

May 25, 2009 Staff

Stating that current regulations against public nudity don’t go far enough, Provincetown, MA judge Gordon Piper has now placed restrictions against nudity in ones own home, except the bathroom. “It has been drawn to my [Read more]

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Cheney: "Waterboard Me." Obama: "No, Waterboard Me!"

May 22, 2009 Staff

(Washington, D.C.) The debate between former Vice President Dick Cheney and current President Barack Obama over United States policy on detainees at Guanatanamo Bay, which has been intensifying over the last month, shows no sign [Read more]

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Obama Optimistic Economy Will Turn Around by 2109

May 21, 2009 Staff

President Barack Obama issued an upbeat assessment on the US economy today declaring that economic indicators prove the country will be profitable and operating in the black by the year 2109. “I have made substantial [Read more]

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GM Dealer Looks Forward to Selling High quality Used Imports

May 16, 2009 Staff

(Chillicothe,Ohio) Ucs Business News: For the past 65 years the dealership of Red Jenson has been selling General Motors cars. Until Today Red Jensen, like many of Ohio’s GM dealers, received notice he was being [Read more]

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New York City: Jail Is "Recession Insulation"

May 15, 2009 Staff

(New York-NY) Next month, the New York State Department of Corrections will launch a marketing campaign: “Jail Means Security” is the campaign’s slogan. New York State Governor David Paterson announced the campaign at a press [Read more]

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Business News

Pimps Praise Craigslist Decision to Close Erotic Services Listings

May 14, 2009 Staff

Across the nation pimps are celebrating the news that Craigslist will be closing its Erotic Services area on the popular site. The use of the site by prostitutes has allowed them to bypass pimps and [Read more]