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National News

TV Pitchman Billy Mays Died His Hair, According to Autopsy Results

June 29, 2009 Staff

Doctors performing an autopsy on recently deceased TV pitchman Billy Mays revealed that the 50-year-old, bearded, jet-black-haired spokespersons well-coiffed locks were actually dyed. “There is not question”, began Hillsborough County medical examiner Vernard Adams, “that [Read more]

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National News

South Carolina Man Couldn't Care Less About Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett or Mark Sanford

June 26, 2009 Staff

Gabe Jenkins, a 45-year-old South Carolina truck driver, claimed he really has no interest in the stories surrounding the deaths of Michael Jackson or Farrah Fawcett or the marital infidelities of South Carolina governor Mark [Read more]

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Washington

Mark Sanford and Eliot Spitzer To Form Bi-Partisan Independent Party

June 26, 2009 Staff

(New York-NY) At a press conference held today at New York’s Saint Regis hotel, former New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer and South Carolina State Governor Mark Sanford announced that they would be forming an [Read more]

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National News

Mark Sanford denies allegations of being a politician

June 26, 2009 Staff

COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA — Mark Sanford, board member of the American Adulterers Association, held a press conference to deny rumors that he is a politician. “The allegations that I am a politician are outrageous. I [Read more]

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National News

Republicans hold press conference to admit adulterous affairs

June 25, 2009 Staff

WASHINGTON — Inspired by the recent press conferences of Senator John Ensign and Governor Mark Sanford, other Republicans have now came forward to air their own dirty laundry before Democrats can. Today, several top Republicans [Read more]

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National News

South Carolina Governor Denies Going On Bender

June 23, 2009 Staff

Unconfirmed Sources have learned that South Carolina governor Mark Sanford may have sobered up after a five day drinking binge and will be returning to the office soon. It would appear the governor had stopped [Read more]

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National News

USS John McCain in battle with USS Barack Obama

June 19, 2009 Staff

WASHINGTON — Lawmakers are considering enacting a policy that prohibits the naming of military vessels after current politicians. The reason is because of the political tensions that have been morphed into military conflicts between U.S. [Read more]

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National News

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Hires Karl Rove As Consultant In Iran Election

June 19, 2009 Staff

(Teheran-Iran) The result of the most recent Iranian election, re-electing conservative Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as President over reform candidate Mir Hossein Musavi, has caused protests in Iran amid rumors of election rigging. And the recent pronouncement [Read more]