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Washington

Supreme Court Declares First Amendment Unconstitutional

August 12, 2009 Staff

The United States Supreme Court unanimously agreed today that the First Amendment to the US Constitution is unconstitutional and will be removed from the list of amendments. The amendment formerly read: “Congress shall make no [Read more]

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Business News

Google's Caffeine Enhanced Search Engine much faster than Regular Google

August 11, 2009 Staff

Google, Inc. announced today that it has a new ‘caffeine enhanced’ search engine that is ten times faster than its old search engine. “Our new search engine is super fast”, said Google software engineer Matt [Read more]

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National News

NASA's Kepler Space Telescope Discovers Earth-Like Planet

August 10, 2009 Staff

NASA’s Kepler space telescope has apparently discovered a planet that is like Earth only much nicer, according to NASA scientists. “The planet the telescope discovered is in the constellation Beta Reticuli”, said Kepler program manager [Read more]

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World News

Twitter Crashes. People Forced To Actually Talk To Each Other!

August 7, 2009 Staff

(London-England) It happened this week, the unthinkable. Twitter, the popular micro-blogging site where users can post matters of interest in 140 characters or less, was shut down due to a denial of service plot hatched [Read more]

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National News

Goldman Sachs to Use Front Running Strategy to Reduce Health reform Costs

August 7, 2009 Staff

New York (Ucs News Financial) Goldman Sachs Group Inc. has been contracted by the Obama Administration to help finance the national health care reform package. According to White house insiders The New York Banks propriety [Read more]

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National News

Gays Turning Straight Thanks to Therapy

August 6, 2009 Staff

The American Psychological Association (APA) proudly announced today that psychiatrists have succeeded in changing the sexual orientation of gays and lesbians to heterosexual. “I am now straight and have no more homosexual tendencies!” exclaimed former [Read more]

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World News

Obama Invites Middle Eastern Leaders to Beer Summit

August 4, 2009 Staff

After the successful beer summit which helped heal race relations in the US, President Barack Obama has invited Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki, Iranian Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above [Read more]

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World News

Obama Invites Middle Eastern Leaders to Beer Summit

August 4, 2009 Staff

After the successful beer summit which helped heal race relations in the US, President Barack Obama has invited Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki, Iranian Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above [Read more]

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National News

Lou Dobbs admits : Obama Birth Certificate is real but Questions Hawaii Statehood

August 1, 2009 Staff

(Washington D.C.) Ucs News: Obama Birther conspiracy promoter Lou Dobbs has finally admitted the birth certificate of President Barack Obama is genuine. During his Friday Broadcast Dobbs Finally dispelled the birther myth. “I now believe [Read more]