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National News

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano Unable to Achieve Orgasm; Nation's Security at Stake

December 31, 2009 Staff

Embattled Homeland Security secretary Janet Napolitano admitted today that she has been trying unsuccessfully to have an orgasm since December of last year and is on the verge of giving up. “Things have been so [Read more]

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National News

Connection Between Oil Drilling and Global Climate Change Discovered

December 28, 2009 Staff

Nick Vachon, a virtually unknown scientist but well known satire writer, claims he has discovered that not only is burning fossil fuels causing global climate change, but the very act of removing the oil from [Read more]

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National News

Santa Claus Files for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

December 20, 2009 Staff

Former trillionaire, famed philanthropist and extravagant gift-giver Santa Claus filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection on Friday and may be seeking a US government bailout, according to sources leaked to the media. Santa blames the [Read more]

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National News

Sarah Palin: "Santa Claus a Socialist!"

December 18, 2009 Staff

(New York-NY) Sarah Palin took time off from a book signing for “Going Rogue” to make a comment on Santa Clause and Barack Obama. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Santa starts chanting “Ho-Ho-Obama. I mean [Read more]

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National News

Ben Bernanke bails out Time Magazine

December 17, 2009 Staff

WASHINGTON – After naming Ben Bernanke Person of the Year for saving us from the crisis that he helped create, Time magazine sales have “dropped off a cliff,” according to one Time magazine employee, speaking [Read more]

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Celebrity News

Tiger Woods Enters Treatment for Sex Addiction

December 13, 2009 Staff

Embattled #1 golfer Tiger Woods had admitted himself into Impuissant Medical Center in Jupiter, FL for treatment of sex addiction, according to Unconfirmed Sources. “It started off as just copping a feel here and there”, [Read more]

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Celebrity News

South Dakota Man Couldn't Care Less About Tiger Woods

December 7, 2009 Staff

Leroy Jenkins, an unemployed 34 year old truck driver from Jackson, South Dakota, claims he couldn’t care less about Tiger Woods’ recent car accident or his extramarital affairs with Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, [Read more]